


New Girl... New Angst

by squishysquid



Category: The Last of Us, The Last of Us 2 - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombies, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, F/F, High School, High School AU, Lesbian, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Romance, Lesbian Sex, Smut... eventually, The Last of Us - Freeform, dina x ellie, ellie x dina, no zombies, the last of us 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:40:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25441042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squishysquid/pseuds/squishysquid
Summary: Dina is in her last year of high school. While attending art class one day, she meets a new girl named Ellie. She's mesmerizing in every way, and Dina can't help but try desperately to talk to her. However, teenage Ellie seems defiant on making friends with anyone. That is, until events involving her and Joel precipitate instability in her life. Dina, a genuinely sweet and empathetic soul, is willing to look through Ellie's facade in order to comfort her. Because of this, their friendship and love soon develop.
Relationships: Dina & Ellie (The Last of Us), Dina/Ellie (The Last of Us)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 245





	1. When Worlds Collide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TLOU1 spoilers, not necessarily any TLOU2 spoilers***
> 
> (Hi, if you're here from my other series, please read the end. Details about updates are also contained in the ending notes... ok. Cute pics of Ellie to begin. *-*)

Dina notices a unique backpack placed up on a desk in the art room. She knows all the people in her class by name, which isn't too impressive of a feat when there’s only seven people enrolled. However, she doesn’t recall this backpack belonging to any of her classmates. As Dina walks towards her desk, she notices a space rocket pin attached to the backpack. It momentarily reflects back the LED lights hovering over Dina’s head as she passes by.

“Dina! Oh, come here,” a woman’s voice says.

Dina quickly turns her head to see her art teacher - Mrs. Aihara - walking towards her. She’s carrying a large cardboard box with both hands, which she then plops down on the desk nearest to her. She gestures Dina closer, to which the girl obeys.

“Can you sift through these things and get a notepad, a half decent set of sketching pencils, an eraser, and a sharpener?”

Dina nods and sifts through the container to find all the objects. She’s found about half of them and then peers up to look at Mrs. Aihara going over to her desk. 

“Do we have a new student?” Dina asks.

“Mhm.” Mrs. Aihara goes to open up her attendance books. “She’s new but super talented. I didn’t want her mixed in with the regular students, so I moved her to this period where she can actually focus.”

Dina gets the rest of the things she was assigned and places it on the desk with the anonymous backpack. She looks inquisitively at the pin before going back to her own desk. Once there, she unpacks her own notepad, pencils, etc. A few minutes pass and the bell used to signal the start of the day rings. Her classmates sprinkle in, and Mrs. Aihara starts to lecture.

The lecture was about 10 minutes in when the new girl came in. Everyone else was seated at their desks, listening to the details and staring at the flashing sides illuminated by the projector, when the door creaked. A tuft of short-to-medium length brownish red-hair tied in a ponytail peaked through the door and stared at Mrs. Aihara blankly. The teacher smiled and gently welcomed someone in.

“Ellie, come!” Mrs. Aihara says.

Every student’s eyes are fixed on her, especially Dina’s. She notices how the girl slowly walks in, closing the door quietly behind her. She doesn’t say anything and doesn’t reciprocate anyone's gaze.

“We were just talking about the first assignment. Please, take a seat.”

The girl, who Dina supposes is Ellie, moves towards the desk. She picks up her backpack, places it on the ground, and takes a seat. The blank expression on her face never changed, and she looks straight ahead at the teacher - her green eyes placid. Dina can see them shine as they reflect the light coming from the projector. Their color is as emerald hued as the gemstone, and Dina hears her heat beat in her throat during the silence spontaneously interrupted by Mrs. Aihara’s lecture.

“Alright, considering you guys either had previous art classes with me or had an impressive enough portfolio to be accepted into the honor’s class, I will have much looser rulers. Therefore, you’re free to choose whatever medium you wish for this project…”

The words drown out as Dina’s eyes wander towards Ellie. She keeps her face directed towards the presentation, not wanting to appear creepy, but she can’t evade this desire of wanting to catch another glimpse at this new girl’s strikingly adorable face. She’s certain everyone else in the class was thinking the same thing and that was the reason they were so silent during her arrival.

“... Do some research about other artists you admire. Think about what _you_ personally like drawing, painting, sculpting, whatever. Once you have a few ideas about what you want your theme to be on, then conceptualize some pieces surrounding it in your notebook. This class period will be dedicated to you thinking of ideas for themes and vetting them with me. Understood?”

A wave of nods permeate through the class as well as a murmur of “yes, ma’am”s. Ellie does neither: She doesn’t move or speak initially, but after a few seconds her head tilts down at her desk to look at her notepad. Her fingers twitch and her hand goes up to her desk to sort through her pencils.

The fall semester only started a week ago. Dina dreaded coming to school, but the ordeal was made so much easier by having Mrs. Aihara’s treasured first period class. She knew everyone there (except Ellie, that is) because she was a senior, and the majority of the class were underclassmen. She didn't mind, though. She was already close with all the nice quality people in her batch. The others were either too pretentious or dull for her to bother with. Therefore, she’s open to being friends with people outside of her year.

Dina already knew the structure of Mrs. Aihara’s class since she took it last year. She basically assigns a project in which you make multiple art pieces (whether they be drawings, paintings, or sculptures) surrounding a certain theme. Having the summer to contemplate about her’s, she decided she wanted the topic to revolve around nature.

Mrs. Aihara walks around the art class, talking to individuals. They have a back and forth on the project details, and Dina listens. She opens her sketchbook and does her first doodle - one of leaves and flowers blossoming. Her doodling continues until she feels a set of eyes staring at her from the side.

Dina notices in her periphery that her Jesse is staring down at her drawing. She furrows her brows and places her arm to the notepad’s side in order to block it from his view. “Can I help you?”

“I’m really lost. I can’t think of anything,” Jesse says. He brings one of his pencils near his face and taps the eraser side against his temple.

Dina rolls her eyes as she stops drawing. Her torso shifts so that her body faces Jesse. “You really do not have any idea of a theme? There is nothing conceivable in this universe for you to do art on?”

“That’s the problem!” Jesse says, leaning towards Dina. “It’s too broad. What if I end up regretting my theme?”

“I don’t know. Just ride with it for the semester? Maybe Mrs. Aihara may even let you change it midway,” Dina says.

Jesse grumbles as he turns towards his own sketchpad. He puts his pencil up to one of the pages and starts drawing several dicks across the page. Dina glances at his work before temporarily looking up at Ellie. Her face has changed. She’s concentrating intently on her work, and Dina smiles unconsciously before facing back down.

…

“Inside or outside?” Jesse asks.

Dina stands behind on the lunch line. Without much thought, she playfully runs her hand against his arm and yawns. “Maybe outside? It looks like a nice day,” the girl chimes in.

“Ohhh… kay,” Jesse says. He grabs Dina’s hand and lightly squeezes it. Dina meets his eye to see his expression gives way into a small wink. She quickly looks away, leaving the gesture unrequited.

They take their lunch trays and head outside. There, they sit with their friend group on a bench and poke at their meals. Dina sits beside Jesse and one of his gamer friends as they loudly converse about meeting up later to play on one of his consoles.

“Sure. Do you want to come, Dina?” Jesse asks.

Dina is staring away at the distance, looking at the main door of the cafeteria open and close. A few people come and go, but eventually a familiar face comes through. Ellie, the new girl in art, comes out with a tray.

“Dina.” Jesse says, tapping her shoulder.

Dina pushes away Jesse’s hand. In a distracted state, she says, “It’s the new girl in art class.” She lowers her voice to become almost inaudible and adds the following statement: “The really cute one…”

Jesse twirls his head to look behind them. Ellie moves through the crowds to sit at a table alone. Dina’s heart aches a bit as she sees the girl silently eat her food in solitude.

“She’s got nothing on you, babe,” Jesse says. He looks at her for a response, but Dina stays staring at Ellie until she becomes cognizant of how strange the behavior is. Her cheeks flush as she turns forward, facing her group of friends.

“Yea…” Dina says, agreeing to whatever Jesse said. She doesn’t even recall the words because she was too busy trying to resurface the memory of Ellie’s face in her mind - her and all her beauty.

…

The bell rings again. Today is another day for Dina, and it begins in Mrs. Aihara’s class. She’s always there a few minutes early since she’s unfortunately one of the few people she knows who takes the bus to school. 

A few people sprinkle into class, but Dina anxiously watches the door in anticipation for the new girl. She hopes she can speak to her before class begins to ask her something - _anything_ . Dina’s thoughts race as she cycles through the possible questions in her mind. _Hey, any ideas on your theme? What classes do you have after? Oh, by the way, I like the name ‘Ellie’. It’s so cute. Want to tell me about the spaceship pin on your backpack?_

Before she decides on one, the door opens, and Ellie walks in. Her hair is in the same ponytail, but she’s wearing a different outfit - a flannel a size too big for her, a grey tank top, torn blue jeans, and converses. She smiles excitedly as she watches Ellie move to her seat.

Dina pushes herself away from her desk and makes her way across the room, but before she can make it to her destination, a wolf whistle is heard loudly in the room. Dina halts, looking hastily around. It seems to be directed at Ellie.

“Hey, babe,” one of the guys in her class says. His name is Dustin, and he’s the only person that Dina has ever hated. Her lip curls, and her blood boils as she sees his lustful eyes and grin directed towards Ellie.

Ellie continues walking, completely ignoring the wolf whistle. The others in the class stare and then look back at Dustin, laughing. Her and the class’s response cause Dustin to contort his face into one of irritation.

“Do you talk?” he says derisively. 

Ellie makes her way to her desk, sitting down. She sets her backpack on the ground next to her. “Maybe,” she says.

Dina is taken away. It’s the first word she’s ever heard from the girl, and it causes the class to crescendo in their volume of laughter. She gulps and breaks into a sprint across the room, placing herself between Ellie and Dustin.

“Fuck you. You don't just do that,” Dina says, staring directly at Dustin.

Dustin looks up at the girl, perplexed. He then irately pushes on his desk to stand up and meet Dina at eye level. “Fuck you,” he replies.

Dina’s ears get hot and red, and she screams in response. “No. Fuck you!”

The class blinks, all simultaneously glancing between Dina and Dustin. A few snickers are heard through the crowd, but then a low voice penetrates through the commotion. “Hey, come on. Come on.”

A hand is placed on Dina’s shoulder, and she looks back to see Jesse pulling her away. “Let’s go. He’s not worth your time.”

Dustin snorts, kicking his desk in irritation. “I’m worth everyone’s time, bitch.” He must interpret his remask as rather witty because his mouth breaks into an awful, ugly grin. He then laughs, and it sends a wave of anger down Dina’s spine.

Jesse takes her hand and walks them back to their desk. Mrs. Aihara comes in, thankfully, after the cursing session. She hurriedly makes it to her desk, apologizing profusely. “Sorry, class! Cats got out of their room this morning, and I need to wrestle them all in.”

Completely oblivious to the tension in the room, she calls out roll. As the room is filled with successive “here”s, Dina shyly looks up at Ellie, who’s busy sketching in her notebook. She hasn’t so much as even glanced at Dina, and it made the girl feel absolutely sick inside. 

“Dina,” Mrs. Aihara says.

“Here…” The girl says. She gulps and notices Jesse’s hand is still intertwined with hers. She squeezes it and then concentrates on the class.

  
  


…

  
  


“Hey,” Dina says.

Ellie stops walking to glance sideways. Her eyes flick momentarily towards the direction of the voice. She has her tray in both of her hands and grips it tightly, and Dina notices her flannel sleeves are rolled up. Ellie’s sinewy arm muscles are on display as well as her tattoo.

 _A tattoo on a highschooler?_ Dina ponders.

“What?” Ellie asks in a flat tone, absent of any inflection.

“I’m really sorry for making a scene earlier. I’m also really sorry for what Dustin did,” Dina says. She’s holding her own tray and excused herself just a few minutes ago from her friend group. To Jesse’s surprise, she hurriedly walked up to the new girl they knew nothing about from art class.

Ellie stands there in silence before starting to walk away. “It’s fine” are the words Dina hears as the girl walks off.

Stunned, Dina stands there for a moment before attempting to follow her. “Wait,” Dina says.

Ellie stops for a moment and then turns 180 degrees, which results in her entire face being displayed. She’s clearly perturbed. Dina can tell by her furrowed eyebrows. However, the freckles sprinkled across her nose and the way her eyes glittered in the direct sunlight sent her heart beating rapidly. Her partly annoyed expression didn’t make Dina feel necessarily intimidated. She felt confused.

“Do you want to sit with me and my friends?” Dina says, a minuscule hint of begging behind the question. She looks at Ellie, gazing longingly into her eyes and relishing the fact that she is able to view her face closely and directly. She was prettier than what Dina had originally thought. From afar, she was nice to look at, but Dina could see all her mesmerizing features up close now. The features didn’t make her perfect. In fact, Ellie has a few blotches of red permanently scarred across her chin and cheek as well as a small cut or two partially healing across her bottom lip, but she was beautiful. She was beautiful in the same way shattered glass reflecting the sunset was beautiful.

“I’m fine,” Ellie curtly says. Before Dina could continue getting lost in her gaze, the girl quickly turned away. Her back became smaller and smaller until she was walking through a few groups of people before she disappeared. Dina was left alone, clutching her tray. The same sick feeling in her stomach resurfaces, and she stares for a few moments at the crowd that swallowed Ellie up.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( I'm sorry for abandoning my previous series, but I would rather tell this story than the other. I think it'll be a lot more enjoyable to read, and it's definitely more enjoyable to write! I will do my best to at provide a second chapter in the next week! I am thoroughly invested in this series and assure you I will be updating it! =) )


	2. Misery Loves Company

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dina attempts to grow closer to her new classmate - Ellie. However, Ellie's impassive reactions discourage Dina from pursuing a friendship. They don't, however, discourage the many thoughts Dina has of this new girl. Thoughts of her constantly haunt her mind during and after school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( Hope you guys are doing well! I realize my chapters may not be as long as the others I see on here, but I think if I keep them this length, then I can post more regularly. Your very sweet comments on the first chapter encouraged me to write this quickly, and I'm excited to share it now! =) )

Dina decided she would do her best to ignore Ellie. She didn’t feel any malice towards her. In fact, she felt like a burdensome, annoying oaf. She felt sad on the bus ride home when she entertained the idea that Ellie’s day was probably worse off after having spoken to her. The thought made her heart heavy, and she sighed to try to relieve it.

The next day, she came to school and intently stared away from the direction of Ellie’s desk. As the bell rang, she looked away from all her classmates that filed in. However, a few minutes into class, she caved in and looked up and noticed Ellie wasn’t even there.

She didn’t come to class late. She didn’t come to class at all. In fact, she didn’t show up for the rest of the week. Anxiety bit at Dina due to this fact, and she spent the entire weekend wondering what could have happened to the new girl.

 _It’s probably better this way_ , Dina thinks. _It’s easier not be tempted to annoy her when she’s not even here_. 

Jesse texts Dina and invites her to his place to play video games on Friday. The idea doesn’t sound necessarily exciting to her, but it sounds like a much better alternative to sitting and pouting. She accepts the invitation and spends most of her weekend at her friend’s house. 

“Da du da Dina,” Jesse says, taking a break from their gaming session to look at her. He percussively taps on his chest in sync with the syllables of his little tune composed of Dina’s name. In response, Dina smiles gently at him. She’s ultimately thankful for his presence.

\---

Another week of school starts. Dina is already in her seat as her classmates file into the room after the first bell. Their commotion eventually dies down as Mrs. Aihara sits at her table and gives a perfunctory call of roll.

“Ellie,” Mrs. Aihara says.

“Here,” a voice says.

Dina looks up and notices Ellie is here today. Her hair is different. The top segment of it is tied up into a ponytail, but the bottom part freely hangs. Dina smiles, liking the change, but then quickly looks away as she realizes her stare may be caught.

The roll is finished, and Mrs. Aihara walks to the front of the room. “Since we finally have the entire class present today, I’m going to break you off into pairs with someone who most resembles your theme. Jesse, please go with Anne, Dustin…” 

Dina waves goodbye to Jesse and watches the rest of the class clamor to organize into pairs. She readily waits for her name to be called, but Mrs. Aihara hasn’t said it yet. She also hasn’t mentioned Ellie’s name.

“Alright. Dina and Ellie. Please get together.” Her teacher finally says.

Dina listens to the words but takes a few minutes to register them. _Oh, fuck_ , Dina says in the silence of her mind. Her heart thumps loudly in her ear. She hastily looks down at her backpack, staring and sifting through her stuff in a bid to buy her time to compose herself. The poignant feeling of anxiety creeps up her skin as she nervously takes out her sketchpad.

A flurry of curses go through Dina’s mind as she tries her best to think of how to act in front of the new girl. She eventually reasons to just not make too big a deal around their pairing and not bother her too much with any questions. _Okay, calm down. Calm down_...

Before Dina could deliberate further and eventually decide whether she came to Ellie or the other way around, the girl had already spontaneously appeared in front of her. She was seated on a stool across from Dina and staring directly at her. Dina meets her eyes, immediately breaks into a cold sweat, and looks away.

“Hey…” Dina says. She readies her ear for a flat response back - possibly an apathetic statement of how banal this project is or a more cynical one on how uninterested Ellie is at all this. She looks down at her notepad and few doodles, intently avoiding Ellie’s gaze that she feels is glued on her.

“I’m sorry,” the new girl says. A soft and sweet tone pervades her words, and Dina looks up to see a new expression on Ellie’s face. It’s one of genuine remorse. Her eyebrows are raised up, and her eyes look at her with the same pleading as a newborn puppy has for his mother. 

“For…” Dina starts to stutter. “F-for what?”

“For being dismissive the other day,” Ellie says. “I actually really appreciated you asking.”

Dina’s heart thumps again, but she can feel the once encroaching anxiety quell down. She still feels nervous, but the nerves feel more like butterflies rather than ants in her stomach.

“Oh, it’s fine. We all have bad days,” Dina says. She twitches her lip into a large smile in an effort to reassure Ellie. She realizes how exaggerated the expression may be, but she does so anyway. 

“Yea, but do you ever have a bad week?” Ellie asks rhetorically. She doesn't’ seem to notice the overly contrived smile and even reciprocates a small one in Dina’s direction (which Dina internally squeals in excitement by.)

Dina moves her pencils, erasers, and other things to make room for Ellie’s things. Both of them coincidentally had the exact same theme - nature. Dina smiles as she shares her sketches of flowers intricately patterned with zentangles. This was a type of art that Dina was experimenting with all summer long. Ellie has never seen zentangles before and comments about how cool it looks, and Dina indiscreetly jumps in her chair in happiness (to which Ellie thankfully doesn’t comment on).

Ellie shares her notepad. Her art is more realistic. Her sketches of animals, trees, and vast landscapes made Dina gasp at how masterfully drawn they were. She hungrily takes in all the sights and drops genuine comments of how impressed she is by them.

“Thank you,” Ellie says. She reaches the last sketch in her sketchpad and closes it. “It’s cool how we both have the same theme but drawn through two different art styles.”

Dina nods, unconsciously leaned inwards closer to Ellie. “Yea. Have you always really liked drawing nature?”

Ellie nods. “Yea. My dad…” She pauses, interjecting “adoptive dad” to correct herself. “... hunts a lot. He takes me with him a lot of times, and I draw in my down time. In fact, that’s why I was out most of last week.”

Dina tilts her head, and curiosity shows in her face. _Gone from school for a hunting trip?_ She repeats the question in her mind but then slots it in her memory for later - hopeful to ask it when she is closer to Ellie.

“Oh... how was it?” Dina asks.

“It was good. I actually shot an eight point buck,” Ellie says. Unfamiliar with the terminology, Dina looks inquisitively at Ellie to which the girl takes out her phone to show her the head of a whitetail deer. She swiped to show another picture - the aftermath of skinning its skull and attaching its large antlers to it. Ellie is seen underneath it as it is now mounted on a display.

“Oh…” Dina’s stomach hurls slightly from the brief sight of a few pictures Ellie quickly swiped through of what looked like the process of skinning the animal. Blood seemed present in most of them in awfully gratuitous amounts. However repulsive the pictures were to Dina, she doesn’t think any differently of Ellie. She’s probably just a product of her adoptive father taking her on so many of these trips.

They continue talking about nature and their plans for the project. To Dina’s surprise, when she looks at the time, the class is almost over. The analog clock on the wall has its minute hand almost completely vertical. She glances back at Ellie and then quickly tears a page of her sketchbook out - one in which she doodled a small bouquet of zentangle flowers. She writes a series of digits on it and then places it in the middle of her desk, halfway between her and Ellie.

“Here’s my phone number in case you ever want to chat outside of school,” Dina says. She looks at Ellie as she flutters her eyes down to paper. She places her tattooed hand on the desk. 

“I really like talking to you,” Dina continues. 

“Same,” Ellie says. She takes the paper and the bell rings loudly. They both stand up from their seats as Mrs. Aihara runs in panic to her desk.

“Sorry, students! I didn’t know so much time passed. Go ahead and go to your next class, and I’ll arrange the seats back.”

The class starts to file out, and Dina follows Ellie out the door. They enter a crowded hallway which eventually leads into a busy intersection. Dina looks over at Ellie and sees she’s closer - much closer. She accidentally bumps into the back of her, and the two are rocked forward by the continuing march of students behind them.

Ellie grabs Dina’s arm and pulls her to the side - away from the continuous stream of students. Dina looks up at Ellie and apologizes.

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault,” Ellie says. 

Dina looks at the overwhelming crowd of students then back at Ellie. “Hey, where is your next class?”

Ellie responds that it’s in Building B, to which Dina takes her hand and leads her out of the door. She hastily explains that there’s a quicker and less packed way to get there through a route behind the building. Ellie follows her, her hand gripping tightly against Dina’s. The gesture induces Dina to feel more butterflies in her stomach. She only now is cognizant of how she feels - lightheaded and carefree.

They escape through a backdoor and walk along a stepping stone path behind the main building of the school. “This is typically where the teachers have their lunch,” Dina chimes in, pointing her head to some benches sprinkled across the quaint trail. She holds on tightly to Ellie’s hand as she skips forward, but the confused look on Ellie’s face and her grip tightening harshly enough to cut off Dina’s circulation causes Dina to stop and let go.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to grab onto you like that,” Dina says, blushing.

Ellie shakes her head, letting her hand float where Dina let go of it for a moment. “It’s fine. I don’t mind.” 

Her words reassure Dina, and she gestures the new girl forwards. They walk a few feet apart from each other on the route until the building they came from is a considerable distance away and they approach a new one.

“This is typically where the math and science classes are. I hope you don’t have Mr. Jaimes. He was the bane of my existence freshmen year onward,” Dina says. She turns around to find Ellie precariously balancing herself on a stone slab on one foot. With a concentrated expression on her face, she stretches out her other foot until it barely touches the stone ahead of her. Quickly jolting forward, she lands forward on the slab with very little grace.

Dina busts out into laughter as she finds it adorable and child-like. _She’s trying to avoid stepping on the grass_ , Dina thinks to herself. The noise alerts Ellie and she stops, standing on a slab two away from the girl in front of her. She looks away bashfully.

“No - no! It's okay.” Dina skips forward along the stones towards the new building, playing along with the objective to not touch the grass. “Here, let’s make our way in.”

Ellie follows her and they stop near a large doorway. Crowds of people have now appeared and are entering to and from the building.

“What class do you have here?” Ellie asks.

Dina straightens her back and pauses for a moment. “I… I don’t have one,” she embarrassingly says. She finished all her math and science subjects her junior year after doubling down on the subjects certain semesters in the past.

Ellie furrows her brows at Dina. She doesn’t look angry - more-so she looks confused. They stand looking at each other for a few seconds before the bell rings, alerting students that anyone entering the class afterwards will be considered tardy.

“You’re late for your next class,” Ellie says. Her voice says the words like one would expect an insult, but Dina can see sympathy in Ellie’s eyes.They’re expressive and help Dina intuit what the girl truly feels.

“I’m fine. I haven’t caught too many tardies. Plus, I wanted to spend more time with you,” Dina says happily. “I would like to get to know you more.”

Ellie gives Dina a blank stare before turning away slightly. Her side profile is striking to Dina. Her freckled cheeks and defined jaw and collarbone were on display. Even though Ellie doesn’t look back, Dina is staring straight at her with her mouth partly open.

“Okay. Thank you,” Ellie says. She does so curtly, similar to when she said she was “fine” the first day they met. Dina watches as she tightens her backpack straps and walks past her. The scent of her wafts into Dina’s nostrils. The fresh smell of shampoo sprinkled with musky notes is present in the air as Ellie passes. Dina leans forward, but just as she began to become overwhelmed by the smell, it disappears as quickly as it came.

Before she can say goodbye, Dina is already far away from Ellie, who’s become lost in the line towards the door. She disappears into it, just like how she did before. Dina takes a moment to look where she disappeared. _Why… why did I do that?_ Dina asks herself. 

She sighs and stares down at her hands, noticing they're both shaking. _She probably thinks I’m weird for trying to follow her everywhere. No one meets someone for one day and immediately becomes their friend. You're acting desperate, Dina._

Dina groans as equal parts anxiety and embarrassment take turns jabbing at her. Her stress is further heightened by the recollection that she’s late for her own class. She turns away from building B and walks towards the main building. 

_Just… Just stop being too much_ , Dina thinks to herself.

…

“What’s up?” Jesse asks.

Dina peers out the window of Jesse’s car. It’s raining, and they’re in the parking lot of Sonic’s drive-in waiting for their order.

“Nothing,” Dina replies. She hears a grunt coming from behind her, and she can tell Jesse is probably facepalming himself.

“You must really think I’m dense, Dina.” Jesse goes to touch her shoulder to which Dina responds by turning slowly to face him. Her eyelids flutter as she looks at him drowsily. The rain had this soporific effect on her, lulling her into daydreams and naps.

“It’s…” Dina closes her eyes. She wonders whether she _should_ tell Jesse about what or who truly is on her mind - Ellie. What would he gather from it? When she tries to make sense of it in her own mind, she sounds like an obsessive freak.

 _Am I?_ Dina has wondered. It’s just that she thinks about her new classmate everyday, even though Ellie hasn’t initiated a conversation or even texted Dina once since she walked her to class. She does, however, make eye contact with Dina in art class. She’s reticent as ever, but she at least smiles whenever Dina says something in passing to her. She’s done nothing wrong, but she also doesn’t seem remotely interested in Dina and what she has to say. Every day this past week, the only expression she saw from Ellie's face was one that was stolid and therefore discouraging to go up to.

“... nothing. It’s senior blues,” Dina says.

Jesse (also a senior) squeezes her arm and smiles at her. “I got’cha. I feel that sometimes, too.”

Dina sighs. She thinks about what Ellie must be doing right now. She tried to ask what her hobbies were on their way out from class one time, but Ellie blankly told her she “doesn’t really have any.” She infers that she likes drawing since she has so many talented sketches in her notepad. She may like hunting because of what she told her about her adoptive dad. She may like space because of the spaceship pin on her backpack. However, she may like anything. It’s just a guess from Dina since Ellie doesn’t say anything to her explicitly. She probably doesn’t even think about Dina when she’s not in art class.

The thought that this feeling between them makes Dina feel alone. _I just wish she was more responsive to me_ , Dina thinks. _I want to get to know her. I want to know what she’s like, but she won’t let me in. How can I make her feel comfortable enough to do so?_


	3. We're Going Where?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dina's wish of spending more time with Ellie is fulfilled, but somehow that doesn't go as happily as planned.

Dina wakes up to her alarm clock screeching. She groans and turns in her bed, hitting the off button repeatedly until the din vanishes. It’s Saturday, but she forgot to turn off her weekday alarm the night before.

 _Fuck that_ , Dina thinks. She yawns and lays in bed, unable to fall back asleep. Her arm hangs off the side of her bed, and her hand gently sways in search of her phone.

“Where are you?” Dina asks herself. She grabs onto something and then pulls it up. Squinting her eyes, she sees that it is her phone. She unlocks it and sees a new message from an unknown number.

_Unknown Number: Hey, it’s Ellie from art class._

Dina immediately sits up after seeing that portion of the message.

_Unknown Number: How are you?_

Dina reads and rereads the text in disbelief. Her hand is over her mouth as she didn’t anticipate the random message from the new girl at all. It’s especially spontaneous because Ellie hasn’t shown up at school the week before.

_Dina: I’m good =D! How are are you???_

Dina stares at the bright screen of her phone and saves Ellie’s number under a new contact. As she navigates back to her messages app, she notices a new one that she hasn’t yet read.

_Ellie: 🐻-y good._

Dina bursts into a laughter that causes her to roll over in bed. She puts her hand back over her mouth in an attempt to calm herself. A loud ding is heard through the room, notifying Dina of a new message.

_Ellie: I hate to ask, but do you think that we can meet sometime so I can catch up in Mrs. Aihara’s class?_

Dina’s fingers shake as she barely contemplates an answer to the question before typing her response feverishly into her phone.

_Dina: Oh, It’s no problem!! I’m free anytime. What day do you want to meet?_

Before Dina can set her phone down to use the bathroom, get breakfast, or do anything else to get ready for the day, she feels a vibration accompanied by another ding. She looks over to see a new message.

_Ellie: I’m free tonight if you are._

…

Dina walks across her neighborhood. Backpack slung over one shoulder, she wears what she would wear to school - a flowery black tank top, jean shorts, and sneakers. She wondered whether she should dress up considering she is meeting Ellie at the local coffee shop, but she decided against it. She figured she’ll be taken aback by it since they were just having a studying session.

Still, it feels a little bit more special than that. The fact that Ellie, by her own agency, asked Dina to hang out - even if it’s just for studying - made Dina’s day. Ever since she was asked via text message a few hours ago, Dina has been excited for this encounter.

A few cars pass, but the streets are otherwise barren. Dina has a few more blocks of houses to pass before she reaches the coffee shop. Her hand tightens around her backpack strap, and she walks closer. When she’s a few yards away from the entrance, she notices a figure standing idly outside. It’s a girl with brownish red hair, a NASA t-shirt, a red flannel, ripped jeans, converses, and the backpack that Dina saw the first day they met. She leans against the outside of the shop, looking down at her phone.

 _Fuck_ , was the first word that came to Dina’s mind. She felt the familiar seed of anxiety wrapping over her, and her walking pace slowed. It felt like her legs were freezing, slowly paralyzing her. She eventually stops and stares ahead.

“H-hey,” Dina says.

Ellie looks up. She puts her phone in her pocket and waves. “Hi, Dina.”

Something about her name coming off of Ellie’s lips put an unconscious smile on Dina’s face. “Have you been waiting long?”

Ellie shakes her head. She turns around and opens the shop door. “Literally just a few minutes.”

Dina waits for Ellie to enter, but she instead keeps the door open. Dina suddenly realizes that her friend is holding it open for her to step inside first, so she hastily walks into the building. When she looks back, she sees Ellie following her in.

The cafe is small but charming. The smell of roasting coffee beans clings to the air and is overwhelming to Dina at first. Only two tables were used out of a dozen, so Ellie goes towards a vacant one in the corner to sit and set down her backpack.

The waiter came over and asked what they wanted. Ellie ordered her a large black coffee while Dina ordered a cafe latte. When he left, Ellie started looking around the room. The aesthetic was industrial with the ceiling infrastructure exposed. They were in a brick-walled corner with the occasional painting pinned against the wall to break up the monotony in design.

“Have you ever been here before?” Dina asked.

Ellie shakes her head. “I didn’t even know what to order. I just get what Joel typically does.”

“Joel?”

“My adoptive dad.”

Dina nods her head. She takes out her notebook, pencils, and binders. Ellie does the same, and they talk about Mrs. Aihara’s assignment: an art piece showcasing their theme. It’s due this upcoming week.

“I’ve been out of school for so long that I’m behind in everything,” Ellie says. She leans her cheek against her hand.

“I’m confident we’ll get you caught up,” Dina says. She breaks into a reassuring smile. Ellie flashes her eyes up, and her lips twitch into a half grin.

The waiter comes back with their drinks. Dina takes her cup and immediately drinks it while Ellie starts to pour sugar and cream into hers.

“How long have you lived here?” Ellie asks.

Dina takes another sip then puts her cup down. “Since I was young. I live just down the road with my uncle - who took me in after my mom passed.”

Ellie stops spinning the spoon in her tea to look up at Dina. She locks eyes with her and shares a sympathetic expression. They continue looking at each other for a few moments until Ellie breaks eye contact to continue mixing her coffee.

Dina, perplexed and flustered by the look, decides to break the silence that followed. “Are you a senior?”

Ellie twitches her lips again and gives a soft chuckle. “Supposed to be. I just keep failing too many classes to be counted as one.” She sighs and opens her notepad. Dina notices a new set of drawings she’s never seen before.

“I tried to draw a deer but fucked up its horns,” Ellie says. She orients her notebook in a way that Dina can see. They both laugh.

“I fuck almost all my drawings,” Dina says, to which Ellie shakes her head in response.

They talk more about Mrs. Aihara’s assignment and then Dina asks if she has any classes with teachers she has. They have about two other ones together but at different periods of the school day. Delighted, Dina gives her binders to Ellie to show her the notes she missed.

Time goes by as Ellie jots down Dina’s notes and occasionally asks questions - mostly on what Dina wrote since her handwriting is so obscure. Dina groans, embarrassed by how messily she did write her notes. It doesn’t help that Ellie lightly teases her about how she dots her _i_ ’s and writes her _q_ ’s. By chance, she looks behind her and sees the sun is already setting. Dina stares outside the shop windows for what feels like a few minutes. When she turns around, she notices that Ellie receives something to the waiter.

“Oh? Is that the bill?” Dina asks.

Ellie bawls up the piece of paper and places it into her jean pockets. “Yep. Do you want to head out?”

Dina leans forward and shakes her head. “I don’t remember paying, though.”

Ellie begins packing her things into her bag, unresponsive to Dina’s statement. As she does so, Dina realizes that she most likely paid for her, and her face starts to feel heated. She raises her hand up to her cheeks and notices they feel especially warm.

“You should have let me pay for my drink,” Dina says. She starts packing up her things too. As she does, she hears Ellie talking.

“Sorry I didn’t give you the choice. I’d just feel guilty if I didn’t since you helped me so much.”

Dina looks up, smiling. For a moment she catches Ellie’s eye, but her friend looks away just before they can make longer eye contact. “You’re so silly. I’ll be sure to get you back next time.”

At those words, Ellie’s face became slightly flustered. Dina sees a faint red color star to show up beside the freckles speckled across her nose and cheeks. Before she could solidify the image into her memory, Ellie gets up to head out the door. Dina turns, following her.

“Thanks for helping me,” Ellie says, opening the door for Dina again.

Dina slides through and takes in the air. The sky is already stratified into warm then cool colors. Violet and blue began to creep up and chase the orange and yellow away. “Thanks for having me for coffee!” she says.

Dina goes to turn around but nearly trips. As she tries to compose herself, she notices her knees feel weak and shaky. She wills herself to take a few steps forward, but her legs stay put.

Her body knew she didn’t want to go, even if it took her mind a few moments to process that. She wasn’t even necessarily too far from Ellie: she was just in the process of turning away. Dina sighs, mentally understanding now why she was so ambivalent to leave. She experienced too many days without Ellie and knew the sadness that would ensue once she’s gone. That sadness was just too overwhelming to go back to so readily. _Just a little longer… please. I just want her company._

She hears a pair of keys jiggle behind her. “I have a car - you know,” Ellie says.

Dina turns around yet doesn’t respond immediately. “Hm?”

Ellie looks past her and at the sunset. The cool evening colors have now taken up the majority of the sky. “It’s already dark. Can I drive you home?”

Dina gulps and gives an impulsive nod. “If you want.”

Ellie quickly tilts her head backwards, gesturing Dina to come with her to the parking lot behind them. Dina goes and follows her friend to her car, which Dina sees is actually an old pickup truck. Ellie opens the passenger side door.

Dina climbs up, struggling with the truck’s height at first. The door closes behind and Ellie makes her way to the driver’s seat. Both of them throw their backpacks in the space behind them and put on their seat-belts.

“Ready?” Ellie asks.

Dina nods. She turns her face forward but keeps looking at her friend through the corner of her eye. Ellie combs back a strand of loose hair from her bun before turning the car engine on. She leans back and starts to drive in the direction of where Dina tells her.

“If you make a turn up here, then you’ll see my house to the right,” Dina says after a few minutes of driving.

Ellie follows her directions and pulls up to her driveway.

“Nice place,” Ellie says as her truck’s headlights shine against the flower beds in the garden.

“Oh,thank you," Dina takes a moment to get her backpack from the seats behind them. “… Will you be at school tomorrow?”

“Um... Think so.”

Dina hugs her bag as she sits in Ellie’s truck. However illogical and spontaneous this entire day seems, Dina accepts it at face value. The fact that Ellie is right next to her after being so dreamed about in Dina’s mind makes her feel like she thought her into being.

“By the way,” Ellie says. “Here’s your page back. It looks too nice for me to keep” She pulls out the paper that Dina had given her with her number on it. Dina looks over to see Ellie sketched a small deer right above her zentangle bouquet. She smiles as she reaches out for it.

The tips of Dina’s fingers touch part paper and then part skin. Some of her fingers happened to grasp the drawing but some landed on the back of Ellie’s hand. Her first impulse is to let go and retreat. However, she doesn’t. She softly presses her fingers against Ellie - specifically her rough and calloused knuckles.

Dina hears Ellie shuffle in her car seat. Her teeth slightly bite into her lip as she nervously anticipates the next event. She’s ready for her friend to drop the paper, quickly snatch her hand away, or crack a joke suggesting Dina stop touching her; instead, she surprisingly sees Ellie’s other hand glide up to Dina’s wrist. Her fingers are slightly spread apart, and their tips gently brush against Dina’s skin.

If Ellie were water, her knuckles would feel tepid to the touch, but her fingertips would feel like hot steam. She exhales a shaky breath as she looks up to see the girl in front of her staring with an adorable set of large, green eyes. At first she couldn’t read what they meant to convey; but in hindsight, Dina thinks they looked like they were pleading for her.

“You keep it,” Dina says. She looks down at the girl’s lips and sees the cuts from weeks ago disappeared. Now she can see their natural plumpness and rosy red color. They open but close quickly, possibly in an attempt to respond to what Dina said. Before she has the time to do so, Dina asks this: “Where are you when you’re not at school?”

Ellie turns her head slightly. Dina traces where her eyes are and sees that she’s staring out at something on her windshield. The headlights of the truck turn off, and the two are left in the dark. It takes a while for Dina’s eyes to adjust, but she eventually can make out Ellie’s shape helped outlined by the moonlight.

“Hunting with Joel,” Ellie says.

Dina doesn’t respond immediately, but then asks her. “For an entire week?”

She unravels her fingers from the cage made from both of Ellie’s hands so that she can move farther down her tattooed arm. She makes it to her wrist, feeling the bony edge protruding as well as the thick veins weaving underneath her skin. It feels like a surge of electrical current is entering Dina’s spine through the point of contact between them. Imaginary or real, it feels electrocuting either way.

“Yea,” Ellie says. Her voice cracks as she does.

Dina hears a loud _click_. Her fingers, once trailing further and further down Ellie’s arm, freeze. She realizes the passenger side door is unlocked.

“I’ll see you at school,” Ellie says. 

Dina raises her eyebrows in surprise and then quickly drops her hands back to her side. The ambiance in the car changes from one of intimacy to this strange enmity. It feels like the moment she broke physical contact from Ellie, they were already 10,000 miles apart.

“I… I’ll see you around,” Dina says. She grabs her backpack and starts to open the door. She pauses for a moment before closing it. “Do you think we can spend time together again?”

The lurid headlights of the truck turn on again. Dina can see Ellie still holding the paper in her hand. After a few seconds, she sets it down onto her lap and grabs her wheel. “I’m not really sure.”

Dina steps back, and the door shuts without her help. The truck starts to move; and before Dina can come to senses about what’s happening, Ellie is already far down the street. In a few seconds, her vehicle disappears entirely. 

…

The tardy bell rings. Dina groans as the noise is nearly deafening. It doesn’t help that her mood is soured by not sleeping last night. She was rolling around in her bed for what seemed like hours, screaming into a pillow last night. The mixture of surprise, confusion, disappointment, and infatuation left her at the brink of tears.

Mrs. Aihara’s entire class is present on Monday - except for Ellie. _Of course..._ Dina thinks to herself

“Umm… How was your weekend?” Jesse cluelessly asks.

Dina closes her eyes, not turning to respond to him. “... Not that great.” She places her fingertips to her temples and tries to massage the surface of her skin.

Mrs. Aihara loudly starts to call the roll when the door opens, and Ellie enters. Dina looks at her as she slowly makes her way to her desk and immediately looks down at her lap. Seeing her after what happened last night resurfaces the strange jumble of emotions.

“Ellie!” Mrs. Aihara screams. “You have two tardies. A third and I’m writing you a detention slip.” The art teacher furiously writes down something in her roll. As she does so, Ellie continues to stare into her lap.

Mrs. Aihara finishes the roll. When she does, she tells everyone to quickly take out their art piece. Dina’s, already completed, is on her desk. She watches as her teacher stomps through the rows of desks to stand beside Ellie and whisper something in her ear. Ellie seems to not respond in any way.

 _Fuck, she’s in a bad mood_ , Dina thinks, referencing to Mrs. Aihara.

The teacher’s words, while still indistinguishable, rises in volume until she slams her hand on Ellie’s desk. Most members of the class notice and turn their attention towards the two of them. 

“You keep that attitude, and you will be out!” Mrs. Aihara screams.

A tinge of sympathy tugs at Dina’s heart. Even while their art teacher is screaming at Ellie, she doesn’t respond. As defiant as that is, she also doesn’t stand up for herself. She doesn’t actively resist. It looked like she didn’t even say a word back. 

Mrs. Aihara goes back to her desk. After a few minutes, she appears less angry and tells the class that this day is dedicated to getting their art pieces done. Everyone begins to get to work, even Jesse. After a few minutes of making sure everything is complete in her drawing, Dina looks up at Ellie. She notices she’s drawing in her sketchpad. Getting up from her seat, she goes over to the box of fine-tipped pens beside Ellie’s desk.

“Hey,” Dina says as she passes by Ellie. She pauses and waits for a response, but her classmate continues what she’s doing. Dina looks over Ellie’s shoulder to see that she’s drawing a cartoon cat with a gun shooting at a caricature of Mrs. Aihara.

A vein starts to pulse across Dina’s forehead and she can feel herself become incredibly more irate as the silence continues. “Do you want to talk about last night?” she says more loudly.

Ellie stops drawing in her sketchpad. Without looking up, she says in a neutral tone, “What’s there to talk about?”

 _Fuck!_ Dina screams into her head. She feels like a volcano of anger exploded inside her and is filling her entire body with the emotion. Her arms flail for a moment, but she turns quickly to march back to her desk. Jesse stares at her as she comes closer and closer. Wisely, he only asks Dina what happened after she seems to stop fuming. She weakly responds that she’ll tell him her reason at a later time.

 _Stupid… Stupid Ellie._ Dina repeatedly says in her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( I wrote and rewrote this chapter maybe 3x. I may not have picked the perfect version to go along with, but oh whale! do you like this chapter or no? =) )


	4. You Have Your Father's Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dina faces the fallout of the her and Ellie's study session. Along with being infatuated with this new classmate, she also has this genuine desire to be closer to her. However, are these two feelings compatible with one another?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((***Warning: Contains some spoilers from TLOU2***))

The weather has been much more sunny this week. Jesse has taken that as a sign that they move their lunch meeting over to their old location: the football stadium stands. Some days there are no teachers in the area to reprimand students. Today is one of those days.

Leonard, one of Jesse’s friends, waves at Dina, Jesse, and the rest of their friend group when they walk onto the football field. From their perspective, he's as small as a housefly, but his movement is distinguishable enough for them to spot him. They make their way up to his location, which is a 5-7 rows from the bottom.

“Hey, hey,” Jesse says. He raises his long legs up, his knees high above his waist. He takes much longer to climb up the stairs than Dina.

Everyone exchanges a few murmured “hello”s. Dina eats her lunch beside Jesse, absentmindedly staring at the visitor side of the field. She thinks about what Ellie said earlier today at art class. _What’s there to talk about?_ Dina recalls her saying.

 _What… What is there for them to talk about?_ Dina asks herself.

“- can’t, man. I have to play at the football game today,” Leonard says, responding to a question in a conversation that Dina didn’t even realize started.

“You act like you can’t call in sick,” Jesse says.

Dina has been paying less and less to the conversations at lunch than usual. However, she’s never been the type to give the most input, so it’s not entirely uncharacteristic of her. She’s more interested in finishing her sandwich than following what the people around her have to say.

“Mr. J won’t even let people leave to go to work. He doesn’t care who you are, either. The first chair saxophone missed two weeks, and the band directors are already talking about kicking her out,” Leonard says.

Jesse sighs, but it’s masked by the squeal coming from Selena. She sits directly beside Dina, so she feels it when her friend presses against her shoulder and quickly turns her head to face Leonard.

“Oh! You’re talking about the new girl - right? The one everyone has a crush on.”

Dina halts biting into her sandwich.

“Yea. They were talking about kicking her when I was getting my trumpet checked by Mr. J.” Leonard runs his hand through his long, greasy hair. “To be honest, she couldn’t march or play well when I heard her, so it’s not a lo-.”

“Who is this?” Dina interjects.

Leonard glances at Dina through the corner of his eye. Dina realizes now that this is the first thing she’s said to them besides their initial greeting, and everyone - including Jesse - is staring at her.

“Her name’s Ellie,” Selena happily says. She squeals as she jumps a few centimetres off her chair. “She’s soooo cute. Half the girls in band have a crush on her.”

“Oh?” Dina asks. She clenches her sandwich tightly.

“Yep! I tried to talk to her the other day, but she didn’t even stop walking to look at me” Selena pouts. “I think she’s like that with everyone, though. Three people have asked her out, and she literally just walked away when they did.”

Leonard breaks into a scoff. Dina intuits that he’s annoyed by Selena. Most people in school are except the ones in this social circle. Her hyperactivity and talkativeness polarize her acquaintances into steering clear of her or becoming her close friend.

“Oh…” Dina says. She looks back down at her sandwich and sees the harsh imprints of her fingers on it. The conversation between the others continues, but she decides to not join it again. As she finishes her food, she feels Jesse’s eyes glued to the back of her head. 

_So that’s why she probably left our study session so early…_ Dina thinks to herself. S _o many people have been hitting on her. She probably just wants a friend to hang out with… not another person flirting with her._

Dina closes her eyes. The idea that she probably made Ellie feel more alone and uncomfortable causes her to feel incredibly low about herself. Even being a friend to Ellie would be an incredible privilege. They could spend more time together, and Dina could be introduced into her world, even if it's not under the same circumstances she typically dreamed of.

…

Students who don't have a class on a particular period have the option of volunteering as a student worker or going to study period. Dina understands that, while having the extra period spent in the study hall sounded nice, it was only good in theory. The kids in the study hall were typically obnoxious. Therefore, she chooses her third empty period to be spent as an office worker.

Dina sits, filing papers. The room she’s in is the first one a person sees when entering the main building. One of its walls is almost entirely composed of glass, so the office workers are able to see who comes in.

The first few minutes of the period were non-eventful, which is typical of an office worker’s shift. Dina continues tidying up after she finishes filing papers. As she wipes clean a counter, a man walks into the building. He slowly heads into the office.

Dina notices the strange man's unkempt brown hair. A few strands fall over his eyes, but he pushes it away behind his ear. His beard is also disheveled. His deep set eyes look around the room before landing at Dina and the secretary beside her. He coughs to clear his throat and asks “this the place to pick my kid up?”

Dina nods.

“Go ahead and take one of those forms in front of you and fill it out. Next, our worker here, Dina, needs to check your ID,” says the secretary.

The man nods and leans against the counter to sign the form. He’s taller than Dina by a large margin. His shadow almost entirely engulfs her, and his wide shoulders make him intimidating. However, he didn’t necessarily induce fear in her. His movements were too gentle for that, and his overall demeanor was polite.

After finishing the form, he takes out his wallet from his jean pockets and opens it. Inside is his driver’s license that he shows to Dina. She reads the name on the card.

_Joel Miller_

Dina blinks. “Um… what’s your child’s name?”

“Williams,” Joel says. “Ellie Williams.”

Dina raises her eyebrows as she makes the connection. She realizes this is the adoptive dad that Ellie talked about. Her perception of him shifts, and she becomes incredibly more polite in his presence.

“Oh! Yes, sir. Let me just double check with our records,” Dina says, smiling. She looks down and fingers through the tabs of a folder. She goes through all the last names under the letter _W_ and finds Ellie’s record. Under the guardian’s slot, she sees the name _Joel Miller_ with the label _father_. She also looks at Ellie’s schedule to see what class and room she’s currently in.

“Yep. I’ll call her out of class,” Dina says.

Joel steps back and leans against the glass. He crosses his arms and stares down at the floor, similar to how Ellie does so when Dina observes her in class. She watches him through the corner at first, but then diverts her attention to the intercom services. She uses them to call Mr. Edward’s English class a few doors down and inquire if he has Ellie in his classroom. He responds with a says “yes,” and Dina tells him to send her to the office to be checked out of school.

“Did you just move here?” the secretary asks.

Joel nods his head. “Yep,” he murmurs, not elaborating much further.

Dina ponders whether she should talk to Joel. Maybe she could say she’s Ellie's friend… However, is she really? She guesses the most valid title for her is Ellie’s “classmate,” but is that even worth mentioning? She looks over at Joel and notices nuances in his body language that mirror Ellie’s.

After a few minutes, Ellie arrives at the main hall. She stands outside the door and looks at Dina before catching Joel’s eye. Her guardian heads out of the office and greets her with a warm hug.

Dina watches as Ellie stands there, not resisting but also not reciprocating his touch. Joel says something in her ear and then places his arm around her. They walk out towards the main entrance, and Dina catches a little detail that makes her smile: Ellie has one of her hands clinging onto the tail of Joel’s T-shirt. She bawls her fist up, holding onto the cloth like a newborn. Joel’s arm holds her as tightly as if she were one.

…

It’s the next day. Ellie hasn’t shown up to art class, but Dina realized that she’s better off anticipating she won’t come. It’s a good way to cope with how absent Ellie is. She’s less disappointed that way.

 _Why are you so careless about coming to school_ ? Dina thinks. She lays her cheek down on her desk, staring at Ellie’s empty seat. _Don’t you know you make people’s day when you’re here?_

The class goes around, showcasing their art pieces. Dina, once excited to show hers, ultimately dreads it since the one person she wishes to impress isn’t there. After she presents her zentangle drawing of a bird, everyone claps except for Dustin. She makes it back to her seat, and individual conversations break out since the presentations are done. Mrs. Aihara reprehends them for their loudness but allows the students to continue being idle if they speak more quietly.

“Uh… So Selena asked if we wanted to hang out with her Saturday,” Jesse says. His fingers rhythmically tap against the surface of Dina’s desk, and she can feel the vibrations caused by them.

“Oh?” Dina asks, not moving her head. “Do _you_ want to?”

“Only if you wanna,” Jesse responds.

Dina contemplates it for a moment. She planned to finish a few projects that day, but she reasons she shift the workload for Sunday. “Sure,” the girl says. She raises her head, looks at Jesse, and smiles. “Thanks for telling me.”

Jesse diverts his eyes and rubs the back of his neck with his hand. “N-no problem. You know I wouldn’t go anywhere without you.”

“Yep,” Dina says. She turns away and looks down at her phone. She notices the few e-mail notifications from her school accompanied by a text from her uncle.

_Uncle: Won’t be home ‘til midnight._

Dina sighs. It’s typical for her uncle to work long shifts at the hospital, but it irritates her when he takes on so many of them successively. It exacerbates the state his pig-stein house is in. _Mom was never this messy,_ Dina thinks. She recalls how quaint yet tidy their house in New Mexico was. In the dreams she has about her mom and Talia, they’re always set inside that house.

 _Dina: Stay safe_.

Dina exits out of their conversation, slides down, and sees the conversation she had with Ellie the day of the coffee shop. She hesitates before ultimately clicking it and rereading the messages. She smiles, remembering the happiness she felt reading them the first time.

Dina stares at the screen until her phone's screen eventually turns turns dim. She debates whether she should message Ellie considering they weren’t on amicable terms the last time they saw each other in person. Dina reasons that this will continue if she doesn’t speak up. Therefore, she sends her a text.

_Dina: Hey._

Dina lays her cheek on her desk again. 

“Did you know that a snail can sleep for three years? That fact is so weird to me,” Jesse says. He continues going down a list of weird animal facts that a friend messaged him. Dina nods and responds with “Mmhmm”s every now and then to signal she’s partly listening. She feels a vibration in her hand.

_Ellie: Hey._

Dina types quickly on her phone. 

_Dina: I’m sorry for being so irritable yesterday. It’s okay that you didn’t want to talk about things._

“This shrimp can also throw a punch at 50 mph,” Jesse says, his words barely registered by Dina since she's typing another message.

 _Dina: I’m also sorry for being so touchy the day we had the studying session. I could imagine how that made you uncomfortable_.

_Ellie: It wasn’t you. I just have a lot going on outside of school. :/ I try to not let it bug me, but I guess it does considering i've been quite the asshole. I’m glad you txt’d me bc I was just thinking about yesterday and felt bad about it._

Dina drowns out the ambient noise to reply to Ellie:

_Dina: I don’t want you to feel bad. And I guessed that a lot must be going on outside what I see. I never once attributed that to you being an asshole, Ellie. I don’t think you’re one at all._

Dina begins typing out a message but then pauses when she sees Ellie reply.

_Ellie: Thanks. Btw, I gtg for a few a bit. Joel wants me to get out bed since we're traveling out of town today... but I’ll text you later - ok? I hope we can hang out again soon.  
_

_Dina: I'd really like that. Have a safe trip._

...

Selena texted Dina Friday, a day before they were set to hang out. She actually sent a group text to their entire friend group - except Jesse. She explained in her message that this exclusion was because she had a plan to throw him a surprise birthday party at his house tomorrow. She planned for the group to show up an hour before he comes back from work. Everyone complied and showed up at the scheduled time. Jesse’s mom Robin let them in through the door.

“Eeeh! I’m so excited. I love throwing these things,” Selena says. She continues placing birthday decorations around the living room. Dina, appreciating her efforts, helps her. 

“What did you get him, Dina?” Selena asks as they pin “Happy Birthday” letters onto the wall.

“Oh,” Dina smiles. “A stuffed bear and a gift card to this gaming store he likes.”

Selena finishes up pinning the last letter. She crawls down from the stool she was previously standing on. “That’s sweet. I can tell he really likes you.”

Dina, having started blowing up balloons, stops to look at Selena. “He’s just being silly. He doesn’t really like me.”

“Oh, please. He talks about you all the time,” Selena teases. She sits beside Dina and accompanies her with the task. In-between breaths she talks and pieces the sentence “I wish I had someone who talked about me as highly as he does about you.”

Dina pauses to reflect on what Selena said. However, she didn’t have much time do so before Leonard received a text that Jesse’s done with work. The friend group frantically chooses hiding places across the living room to surprise Jesse from. 

Jesse came home and was pleasantly surprised by the entire party. He stood, slightly frightened by how everyone jumped out to wish him “happy birthday”; but when he pieced together what was happening, he became elated. He smiled at everyone - especially Dina. They put on a movie, cut a cake, and eventually talked until midnight. After that, the party members started to thin, and the last person to stay was Dina. As the second to last person pulled out of Jesse’s driveway, the two best friends waved goodbye on the front porch. They then sit down on a nearby swinging bench to stargaze.

Dina watches as Jesse sits down beside her, soda can in hand.

“I don’t think I’ve properly sat out here and star-gazed in years,” he says.

Dina nods. She unfolds her arms and lets her legs sway freely on the edge of the swing. “Tonight is really pretty.”

“Yea.” A silence ensues after Jesse says this. Dina continues to try to piece together the stars into the constellations she knew but eventually gave up after a few minutes. After doing so, she turns her head towards Jesse and is surprised to see that he’s been staring at her.

“Jesse?” Dina asks.

Jesse blinks and slowly leans in. He’s so close that Dina can smell the scent of Coca Cola on his lips and the deodorant clinging onto his shirt. His eyelids close. Dina hastily backs away.

“Jesse, wait-” Dina says.

Jesse pauses and opens his eyes again. He notices the new distance between them and quickly shuffles closer to Dina. His eyes, placid before this moment, start to plead. “Dina…” he says, his voice shaking.

Dina stares with sympathy towards him because she can intuit the direction this will go, and she’s feared for it to head down that way because it will leave both of them feeling much worse than before.

“I love you,” Jesse says.

The words send a wave of shock through Dina, and she raises her eyebrows. It’s not illogical or uncharacteristic or even unpredictable that he said them. Dina anticipated them for some time but always cut her thought process off when she thought about how she should respond. Therefore, she was lost as to what to do.

“Jesse…” Dina says. She inhales deeply and her mind cycles through the possible reactions she should go with. None of them suffice as correct to her, so she reasons she should just candidly express her feelings. “If you don’t listen to anything I say, then at least listen to this: You are cared for and appreciated and so adored by almost everyone I know. I… I just, “ Dina says. She bites her lip and then follows up with the sentence “ I just don't feel the the same way."

The words hurt for Dina to say, and she sees that they hurt for Jesse to hear. He looks at her with his pupils shaking rapidly and his expression filled with absolute devastation. Rising up from the swing, he walks a few feet away from the porch onto the front lawn. Dropping the can in his hand, he then kicks it and yells “fuck” at the top of his lungs. The yell is animalistic, lacking any restraint. It’s the most genuine and raw expression of emotion that Dina has ever seen. She wishes she had the courage to do it, too.

Dina recalls how her life was so devoid of love and attention after her mother and sister died. Jesse, once they met, filled that vacuum. He’s always held a special place in her heart for that. In her mind, he was this amazing and kind gift that she didn’t deserve and properly appreciate. She never wanted to see him in pain, especially from pain caused by her.

Before Ellie existed in Dina’s world, she _did_ think she was in love with Jesse. She thought being “in love” with someone was hanging out with them the most, texting them “good morning” and “good night” every day, giving them presents every now and then, etc. Dina didn’t realize that romantic love had more to offer. 

When Ellie entered the picture, Dina started to distance herself from Jesse. Maybe it was the guilt of knowing that her feelings towards him didn't have the same passion as hers for Ellie or maybe it was the fact that Ellie was constantly on Dina's mind, causing the girl to only be interested in her and no one else, or maybe it was a more obscure reason that Dina didn't think of that caused the rift between her and her best friend. Whatever the reason may have been, there was no turning back for Dina. Her beliefs about love were changed so drastically that they may as well have been flipped on its axis.

"Jesse," Dina says. She gets up and starts heading towards him. Her arm extends out, but Jesse rapidly shifts away from her.

"Don't" he says. The lantern on his front porch swings and shows his sorrowful expression. Tears are already trailing down his cheek, and Dina wishes she could wipe them away. She wishes she could hug him and tell him she can relate to how he's feeling, but she knows that he wants distance now. She can see the anger and betrayal in his eyes. Therefore, she turns away and sighs, careful to not make it audible. "I... I'll see you at school," she says before heading down his driveway and walking along the street lights back to her uncle's house. When she makes it back to the home, she locks herself in her room and immediately collapses onto the ground, crying.

After an hour or so of crying, Dina lies in her her silent and dimly lit bedroom. _I wish I felt the same_ , she thinks. _It would be so much easier for everyone if I did. We'd have each other, and Ellie wouldn't be burdened by these feelings I have for her. What a happy reality that could have been..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Ty if you have read to this point. =) I appreciate you.)


	5. I Only Have Eyes For You.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Dina's relationship with Jesse is rocked and at the possibility of entirely deteriorating, her and Ellie's becomes closer and more intimate. Dina meets Joel (again) and the other members of Ellie's adoptive family. However, they seem to butt heads on what Ellie should or shouldn't do, where Ellie should or shouldn't go. and who Ellie should and shouldn't be with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( *NSFW WARNING: sexual content and drug use* Not too graphic, but I guess it's one of ///those/// chapters. o(^・x・^)o )

Ellie halts and stares at a doe 5-10 feet from her. She tracked it down after hearing its cries a short distance away from the trail her and Joel were walking on. She sees it struggling with its foot, which appears stuck in one of many coil spring traps Joel set up to capture coyotes. The doe’s large black eyes look at her as it struggles hysterically.

“Joel!” Ellie yells.

“Ellie?” Joel yells. It takes a few minutes for her guardian to maneuver through the web of tree limbs and bushes to find her. 

“Joel, come here,” Ellie screams back.

Joel notices the orange color of her vest stand out against the dense vegetation. He then notices the animal caught in the trap. Cursing, he makes his way towards it.

“What do we do?” Ellie asks Joel.

Joel is only a few inches away from the doe when he gestures Ellie closer. “I’m gonna hold her, an’ you unlock the trap.” He extends his hands and wraps them around the animal’s neck. It immediately screams in fear and struggles more fervently than before.

Ellie hastily makes her way to Joel’s side. She places both her feet over the trap’s levers.

“Little bit more, Ellie. She needs more room,” Joel says.

Ellie grunts and shifts more of her weight over the trap. The doe eventually manages to start wiggling its foot free. As it does so, it frantically bashes against Joel and Ellie in an attempt to run away.

“Just wait, girl,” Joel soothingly says to the doe. He holds Ellie’s arm and helps pull her away from the animal. They both step back as they watch it screech and balance onto its thin legs. It sprints behind a nest of trees and disappears.

The two catch their breath. Joel pants and moves his hand up to Ellie’s back. He gently pats her. “Good job findin’ that doe.”

Ellie, too exasperated to speak, meekly nods.

After the two recover, they make their way back to the path. Ellie walks a considerable distance ahead of Joel, which prompts him to loudly ask her this: “You alright, kiddo?”

Ellie continues walking, unresponsive. When they get to a clearing, she stops. “When are we going back to Jackson?” she asks.

Joel stops behind her and raises an eyebrow. Crossing his arms, he replies, “In a few days. We’ve got to scout out more of this land to see if it’s nice hunting territory. If it is, we’ll move here in the winter.”

Ellie sighs. She moves towards a fallen tree and leans against it. Mirroring her guardian’s defensive body language, she replies “And move somewhere else in the summer?”

Joel doesn’t respond. He stares at her.

Ellie turns her face to look away from him. “We’ve been through this routine so many times. I thought you promised me we’d at least stay in Jackson for a year.”

Joel takes a few steps towards her. “And I thought that was possible, but I realize now it ain’t. It ain’t possible to stay there that long, Ellie.”

Ellie rolls her eyes and looks away. She’s had this conversation enough times with Joel to know it would be a waste to pour her energy and emotion into trying to persuade him. He was incredibly stubborn.

After a few minutes of silence in the clearing, Joel convinces Ellie to walk back over to their car. While Joel gets into the driver’s seat of the car, Ellie stands stiffly outside.

“Let me spend time with a friend,” Ellie says.

Joel glances over at Ellie, now noticing she’s not in the passenger seat yet. He stops buckling his seat-belt and responds. “We’ll talk about it when we get home.”

Ellie grips the car door until her knuckles become white. “Promise me, and I’ll go back.”

Joel lowers his eyebrows and turns his torso towards her. He places his arm around the passenger seat, patting it to gesture her to sit down. “Is now really the time for this?”

Ellie sighs and starts shutting the car door. Before she can succeed, Joel leans forward and uses his hand to stop it from closing. “Ellie, stop this.”

Ellie opens the door, screaming. “Then let me spend time with _one_ friend!”

Joel curses underneath his breath and retreats back to his own seat. He leans backwards and tilts his head up. Shakily sighing, he then responds. “Alright… _If_ you hang out with this friend at Tommy’s house.”

Ellie plants her knee onto the passenger seat and shifts her weight into the car. She closes the door behind her and sits in silence for a few minutes. “Fine,” she says.

Joel leans over to buckle Ellie’s seat-belt then moves to buckle his own. He starts the car, and they drive down a dirt path, turn, and travel on a highway. After half an hour of not speaking to one another, Joel says, “You know no one’d understand us, Ellie.”

Ellie looks out the door at the passing trees. “This person will,” she says.

…

After Jesse’s birthday party, Dina and Ellie started texting more frequently until it became an everyday occurrence. They initially chatted about school assignments but then drifted off to other topics. For example, Dina and Ellie have 50 or so messages between them talking about their favorite foods. A larger number of messages are spent on the topic of their favorite video games. Dina, so excited and readily available to message Ellie about anything, barely notices that her text conversations with Jesse have thinned to the point that they’ve stopped entirely. 

As well as texting more, Ellie has been more present at school. Every weekday of this week, she’s been in Mrs. Aihara’s art class. Dina even noticed that halfway through the week, Ellie has already caught up with her work. She also notices that Ellie is more open to talking to her.

At the end of the school week, Dina received a text message from Ellie. It asked her if she wants to come over to her house during the weekend. Elated to spend even more time with her, Dina agrees to meet Ellie at her uncle’s house. However, she doesn’t anticipate it to be so far from the center of town. While technically still in Jackson’s city lines, the log cabin is tucked inside some woods that Dina never knew existed before. When she knocks against the door, a woman with bright blue eyes and light blonde hair answers. She lets Dina in and tells her to make herself at home.

Dina sits inside the living room. She looks around to see various animal skulls mounted on the wall. They ranged from small ones the size of bobcat’s to large ones that looked like they once belonged to a bison. The cabin was fairly cozy inside, having multiple animal skins draped on the floor and couches. Dina, hesitant to touch the skins, opts to sit in a rocking chair. 

The girl begins lightly rocking in the chair and looking around the room. A chandelier hangs over the room and provides a dim yellow light source. Some framed photographs stand on the mantle above the fireplace - the contents of which she can’t distinguish from so far away. A record player sits on a counter in the corner. 

“Er… ” a low voice says. Dina turns her face towards the source of it and sees a tall, wide-shouldered man with long blonde hair (tied up into a ponytail) staring at her. He raises his eyebrow at her and taps his boots against the wooden floors. He then turns around and yells, “Joel!”

Joel makes his way to them, coffee mug in hand. He looks at the strange man and Dina. Sipping on his coffee, he leans against the walls and nods in the direction of the visitor. “One of Ellie’s friends,” he says. 

The man lowers his eyebrows and makes his way towards the girl. “Damn, then why didn’t you tell me she was comin’? You make me look like a fool in my house.” He walks in front of Dina and extends his hand. “Tommy,” he says, introducing himself.

Dina rocks the chair forwards and stands up. She nervously accepts his handshake. “Dina,” she courteously says.

Tommy nods then gives her some distance. He looks over at Joel. “Why don’t you go an’ call the missus down?”

Joel rocks forward and walks out of the room. Dina can hear the echo of his steps against a flight of stairs. She then hears it again with another set of footsteps accompanying it. 

“I told you to let me answer the fucking door,” Ellie says to Joel as she turns the corner into the living room. She walks past Tommy to stand beside Dina.

“Hey,” Dina says, smiling at her.

“Hey,” Ellie says, still obviously irritated. She tilts her head in the direction she came from. “Wanna head to my room?”

Dina nods and follows. She notices Joel stalking her with his eyes as they walk past him. She gulps as she feels this tension between her and the man. _He didn’t even greet me when he saw me. I guess he doesn’t necessarily like me_ , Dina thinks.

The two girls make their way upstairs and into a bedroom. Ellie sits down onto a bed. Beside her is a wooden nightstand with her art class notebook, a few open comic books, and a model space rocket on it. Dina stands at the doorway, staring awkwardly until Ellie gets up to pull out a beanbag chair.

“Shit, sorry. Come in. I just woke up a few minutes ago,” Ellie says, placing her hand up to her face and rubbing her closed eyes with her fingers. “My brain still isn’t working properly.”

Dina sits down on the seat. She wrestles with the material until she finds a comfortable position to be in. “Oh, hush. Thank you for inviting me over.”

Ellie sits back down at the edge of her bed. She crosses her arms and sighs. Dina can sense the stress she feels from her frustrated expression and her tensed shoulders. 

“I listened to your Spotify playlist,” Dina says, attempting to direct her attention to a light topic. “Where the fuck have you been? I wish I met someone earlier who listened to Sandy Alex G.”

Ellie chuckles, seemingly forgetting her frustration, and smiles. She looks over at a stack of vinyls. “I actually have a copy of _Trick_ over there.”

Dina sits up but then immediately starts sinking back into the chair. “Are you teasing me right now? Put it on.”

Ellie walks across her room and sifts through the records. She unsheathes one from its cover and sets it on the vinyl player. A slow, melancholic song starts to play, but then Ellie pauses it to reposition to the disk. 

“Shit, hold on a second,” Ellie says.

Another song begins. A guitar is strumming a few chords and is then accompanied by another guitar and a drum set. Dina grins as she realizes what’s playing and begins to mouth along to the lyrics as they’re sung by a male artist. 

Dina gets up from her seat. She makes her way to Ellie and the vinyl player. “Is this your favorite song of his?” she asks.

Ellie shakes her head. A few strands of hair cover his face as the rest of her hair is messily kept up in a loose ponytail. She raises her hand to comb through the strands and place them behind her ear. “Mm-mm. Mine isn’t on this album. Is it yours?”

Dina nods. “Yep… I honestly thought you read my mind before putting it on.”

Ellie looks up to grin at the girl beside her. “Maybe I did. You don’t know,” she says teasingly.

Dina likes when Ellie jokes with her. When they first started texting back and forth, Ellie was fairly straightforward and short in her messages. It took several days before Dina could begin seeing hints of Ellie’s personality behind her texts. These hints were typically in the form of dry jokes or a teasing remark to break up the monotony in their conversation.

This tease, however, drills a seed of paranoia into Dina’s mind. If Ellie could read her mind, then she’d probably be horrified at how often Dina thinks of her and what Dina thinks about her. Even though Dina has made the decision to abandon pursuing her as more than a friend, she couldn’t help but let her mind occasionally wander at the possibility of having more. 

“Funny,” Dina sarcastically says. She turns to face the coffee table and TV set to their right. She then notices a copy of Street Fighter 5 on the table. “Didn't I tell you I play a mean Cammy on street fighter?” Dina asks, taunting Ellie with her eyes. 

Ellie breaks into a smile then moves towards the TV set. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

Ellie goes to grab the controllers and the game case. The two sit across from the TV, a few inches apart from one another. Ellie tells Dina that she doesn’t believe that she has the ability to beat her but is simply entertaining the challenge out of boredom.

“You honestly infuriate me,” Dina jestfully says.

Ellie maneuvers through the menu screen and gives a mocking smirk towards Dina. The two girls play five rounds of fights on the video game with Ellie beating Dina’s character in every one of them. However many times she loses, Dina still keeps her brashness.

“I honestly almost had that last one, though,” Dina pertly says. “You distracted me with your trash talk.”

“Mmmhm,” Ellie flatly says and rolls her eyes.

“Can you go easy on me this upcoming round - though? Just once.” Dina asks, going to face Ellie. She flutters her eyelashes and starts to pout. The gesture thoroughly fails to persuade her friend.

“Even my little cousin doesn’t ask me to go easy on him,” Ellie responds.

Dina wrinkles her nose and readies herself to play another round. As they proceed to battle on the video game, Dina feels a vibration in her pocket. She blindly runs her hand to her back pocket to take the device out. Darting her eyes towards the screen, she reads the new text notification.

_Selena: Hey. Are you still coming to Leonard’s?_

Dina sets the controller down to facepalm herself. “Oh, god,” she says, groaning. 

Ellie, attacking Dina’s character in the video game, now pauses to notice Dina looking at her cellphone. “Are you alright?”

Dina nods, putting her phone away. “Yea. I’m just dumb. I forgot that I agreed to go hang out with someone the other day, so I’m about to text her I can’t go.”

As Dina begins writing a response to Selena, she feels Ellie’s eyes on her. 

“You can still go - you know,” Ellie says, interrupting Dina’s focus and causing her to stop typing.

Dina shakes her head. “No, no. I want to stay here. It just caught me by surprise since I completely forgot.”

Ellie pauses the game. She leans her arm against the coffee table and places her cheek on her hand. “No, I mean, we can head there if you want.”

Dina raises her eyebrow inquisitively. “Like… both of us head there right _now_?”

Ellie nods.

Dina shakes her head. “My friends are probably just going to smoke some pot and talk. It’s not anything exciting.”

Ellie places her hand down and leans forward. “It’s up to you…”

Dina lowers her eyebrows. “Do _you_ want to go?”

Ellie, unresponsive, continues to look at Dina. Dina scoffs, slightly annoyed by the lack of an answer. 

“You’re so purposefully mysterious, and it’s irritating, Ellie,” Dina says. However, in hindsight, she sees how much truth is veiled in that statement.

...

The two girls make it to Leonard’s house. On the ride there, Dina realized that the pickup truck they’re driving in is Tommy’s, and the reason they left through the backdoor is because Ellie isn’t allowed to leave the house without Joel’s permission. In fact, the day they met at the cafe, Ellie essentially snuck out in order to meet Dina. Dina, absolutely frantic, begs Ellie to head back after she realizes that they’re going against Joel’s wishes. 

“Relax,” Ellie says to Dina.

Dina scoffs and pleads with Ellie again. After turning into Leonard’s neighborhood, she eventually concedes to Ellie’s plan to only stay for a short amount of time and head back home before anyone in the household notices she’s gone. Dina thinks of Joel and his hostile expression towards her. Even after agreeing to head to her friend’s house, his face haunts her. Her breath is shaky as they start pulling into their destination.

“It’s entirely my fault if shit hits the fan,” Ellie says. 

Dina, glaring at Ellie, opens the passenger side door to get out. “You’re impulsive as fuck, and that _doesn't_ make me feel better” Dina says.

The two make their way to the entrance. Dina knocks on the door then hears a few screams from inside the house followed by loud footsteps. Leonard, smiling back and laughing at someone’s comment behind him, stops in his tracks to look at Ellie and then Dina.

“Uh… Hey?” He says hesitantly.

“Hey,” Dina nervously says. “Got enough room for two people?”

Leonard squints his eyebrow and looks curiously at Dina. “I mean… I guess.” He steps to the side and lets the two girls through.

Dina sees two of her friends - Mason and Bryan - on the living room couch. Mason unrolls a large ball of hemp wick, lights the end of it on fire, and burns the packed bowl of a large, glass bong. Bryan, holding onto the instrument, breathes in deeply. He tilts his head back, parting his lips from the bong, and exhales a large cloud of smoke.

Selena steps out of the kitchen and sees the two newcomers in the hallway. She immediately goes to stare at Ellie, drops her jaw, then glances at Dina. “Dina!” Selena excitedly says.

Dina diverts her attention from her smoking friends to Selena. “Oh, hey.” she says, greeting the other girl.

Selena goes to hug Dina. As she lets go, she turns and faces the newcomer. “I didn’t know you were bringing a guest,” Selena says as she gives Ellie a suggestive smile.

Ellie stares at Selena and then darts her eyes to Dina.

“Yep. Me and Ellie were around and wanted to drop by,” Dina says, looking back to see Leonard closing the door. Without much (or any) deliberation, she places her hand around her friend’s arm. Ellie, surprised by the gesture, looks curiously at Dina.

“Oh,” Selena says. She walks backwards into the living room and gestures the two into the space. “I’m glad you guys could come! Do you want to smoke a few bowls?”

Dina, staring intently at Selena, tugs on Ellie’s arm and leads her into the living room. Mason and Bryan look up from their bong. They nod their heads dizzily as a greeting to Dina and the stranger.

“I’m actually fine,” Ellie says. She places her hand onto Dina’s arm wrapped around her. She readily walks in the direction Dina leads her without any resistance.

Dina, tugging harder on Ellie’s arm, guides them to the couch. They both sit as Selena quickly glances between the two. “So… How was you guys' day?” Selena asks.

“It was great,” Dina says, speaking for both of them. She taps on Bryan’s shoulder and gestures for him to give her the bong, to which he does. Grabbing the instrument by its base and letting go of Ellie’s arm, she places it in her lap. Mason, lighting the end of the hemp wick, moves closer to the two girls on the couch.

“Ready?” Mason asks.

Dina nods and places her mouth onto the mouthpiece. She starts sucking in air as Mason sets the bowl on fire. Her eyes focus on the clouds of smoke rising into the chamber and making their way up to her lips. She breathes in forcefully, trying to inhale as much as she can.

Dina eventually stops pulling from the bong the moment her lungs feel like they’ve reached their maximum capacity of smoke and air. She pushes the bong away and starts violently coughing, leaking clouds of smoke with every wheeze. Her eyes fill with water as she struggles to breathe.

“Fuck,” Ellie says with concern in her voice. She places her hand onto Dina’s back and looks up at Selena. “Do you have any water?”

Dina shakes her head as she places the bong back into Mason’s hands. She tries to steady her breath in order to signal she’s okay. After a few seconds of this, she tells Ellie she’s fine in a raspy voice. Ellie firmly pats her back and looks into her eyes with worry. 

“Not everyone can take it like a champ,” Mason says, pointing his thumb towards himself.

Selena rolls her eyes and heads into the kitchen. She comes back with a glass of water and hands it to Ellie. Ellie, readily taking it, places it in Dina’s shaking hands.

Leonard enters into the room. He crosses his arms as he looks around at his friend group and Ellie. “So… Are we really here just to smoke all my weed?”

Mason, already taking out the ashes from the bowl to pack in more ground pot, looks up at Leonard. He reassures he’ll chip in a few bucks to his friend. Bryan apathetically takes the TV remote to surf through the movies on Netflix.

Dina, having sipped water and caught her breath, starts to lean backwards into the couch. A tear runs down her cheek from her coughing session, but she quickly wipes it away. Ellie keeps her hand behind Dina's back.

“You should probably not smoke again… ever,” Ellie says.

Dina tugs on the collar of Ellie’s flannel, pulling her backwards and further into the couch until they both lean against the back of it. Dina feels her fingers begin to tingle as the high from the bong hit starts to set in. She giggles and starts tracing them along Ellie’s collarbone.

Bryan, handing the remote controller to Selena, scoots closer to Mason and watches him puff out smoke rings. Selena places the electronic down and looks curiously at the two girls on the couch across from her. Leonard, perplexed by the situation, stares at them, too.

“Why were you two in the neighborhood?” Leonard asks.

Dina pauses touching Ellie to look over in Leonard’s direction. She clears her throat, trying to think up an excuse, but sighs and replies “Okay… we weren’t necessarily in _in_ the neighborhood,” she says.

Selena chuckles. Sitting cross-legged on an arm-chair, she leans forward. “I’m glad you stopped in wherever you were from. Especially you, Ellie.”

Ellie looks up from staring at Dina to requite Selena’s eye contact. “Thanks. It’s definitely not something I do often,” she says. She combs back an imaginary strand of hair to the back of her ear.

Dina retreats her hand to her side and looks over at Leonard. “I thought you had band competitions today,” she says. Leonard looks back at her and they converse about his schedule. The two boys - Bryan and Mason - continue to smoke, and Selena and Ellie start a conversation themselves.

“Mr. J thought he’d give the weekend free,” Leonard says. He sits down on an armchair across from Dina. “He thought he’d be nice after he was an absolute asshole for extending our practice hours.”

Dina smiles. “Thank god I quit my first year,” she says. She elaborates on how she regrets her decision but ultimately understands she couldn’t keep up with the harsh regiment. After a few minutes of talking, she looks at the corner of her eye and notices the seat behind her is empty. 

Dina jolts up as adrenaline rushes her head. “Where’s Ellie?”

Mason and Bryan slowly turn their heads towards Dina and Leonard raises his eyebrows. “They said they were headed to the kitchen,” Mason nonchalantly says. The two have stopped smoking and are surfing through the Netflix menu.

Dina, shaking her head and not recalling that statement, gets up and stumbles into the hallway. She hears a giggle and turns into the kitchen to see Ellie leaning against the kitchen counter with an uncomfortable expression on her face. Selena, only a few inches away from her, places her hand on Ellie’s arm.

“Yea, but how do you really feel about it?” Selena asks, squeezing Ellie’s bicep.

Dina feels a heat start to rise in her body, and before she can quell it, it’s already seemed to consume her. She bolts forward and pulls Ellie away. Her face contorts into a furious glare as she stands between the two of them. “Excuse you?”

Selena raises her eyebrows in a surprised expression. She looks over at Dina and then back at Ellie. “Dina?” she says in a confused and scared tone. “W-what’s the matter?”

Dina’s cheeks become more and more flustered as she feels herself becoming incredibly more furious. She turns around and grabs the sleeve of Ellie’s flannel. They march into the hallway and up the stairs of the house. Ellie starts to stutter a few words behind her; but before Dina responds, she leads both of them into an empty bedroom.

 _Fuck, fuck fuck!_ Dina internally screams into her head.

The bedroom, dimly lit by a lava lamp, looks like a typical teenage boy’s den. The unmade bed had a single nightstand with an LED clock on it. A desk, covered with textbooks, sits across from it. Various articles of clothing are splayed across the floor.

Dina closes and locks the door and turns towards Ellie. “What the fuck were you two doing?”

Ellie, raising her eyebrows, steps away from Dina. “What are you talking about?”

Dina walks closer to Ellie, her pained expression illuminated by the lamp. “What were you doing with her?”

Ellie’s eyes rapidly look back and forth at each of Dina’s eyes, as if searching for an explanation to her friend’s action. She eventually starts to stutter and back away, to which Dina only uses as an opportunity to come closer and compromise more distance than before.

“Why was she touching you?” Dina asks.

“I-I don’t know. Fuck! I was just getting some more water, and she went up to me and started talking to me. Maybe she likes me?” Ellie says, utterly lost in her expression and body language. She continues to back away until she's against the bedroom wall.

“B-but she’s can’t!” Dina says, loud enough to nearly yell. She shakily goes to grab the cloth of Ellie’s collar, but Ellie catches her hands before she can do so successfully. Dina quivers her lip as she desperately tries to pull Ellie closer, to which Ellie tightens her grip and attempts to steady the two.

“Dina, stop it.” Ellie firmly says. She strengthens her grip around Dina’s wrists. When she does so, she looks up and sees a few tears flowing down the other girl’s cheek. Surprised, she loosens her hands and is then pulled in closer by Dina.

“Why are you so goddamn callous about my feelings?” Dina pleads. She tugs Ellie towards her. Ellie, a few inches taller than her, looks down to see the girl break into a sob. “Only I can like you,” Dina unsteadily whispers through her cries.

The room is quiet after her sentence. Dina questions whether she thought the words of what she said in her mind as opposed to saying them out loud. It was hard to tell - especially since this current experience feels more dream-like than real. Ellie, the high from the bong hit, the spontaneity of it all - it seemed to make her feel like she’s in a daydream.

Dina closes her eyes yet still sees the imprint of Ellie outlined in her mind. As her eyes are closed, she feels a hand move up her shoulders and another run down her back. Dina exhales and thinks the hands feel warm and comforting. She steadily leans forward and is then embraced.

Dina begins to ponder about all the times she’s spent thinking about Ellie. During some days, she was the only thing on her mind. How many hours of how many days of how many weeks has she spent thinking about her? Dina guesses it's a dauntingly large number. She wonders even more how many scenes she’s daydreamed about of being held in her arms.

“You don’t feel the same way - do you?” Dina asks, eyes still closed. She imagines herself in Jesse’s shoes during the night he confessed his love to her. She can feel her lip quiver as she begins to anticipate the “no” that will roll off Ellie’s lips.

Ellie breathes in. Dina opens her eyes and runs her hand up to press against Ellie’s cheek. Surprised by the silence, she desperately inspects Ellie’s eyes, hoping to get the answer to her question there. Her eyes, green like a forest's tree canopy, seem to lull her closer.

“I do feel the same way,” Ellie softly says.

The words make Dina’s knees weak and she feels herself almost ready to collapse. Her hand, once on Ellie’s cheek, is now placed behind her neck to pull their faces closer towards together. The feelings going through Dina are too plenty and too intense for her to process, so she instead acts on her primary one: desire. She pulls Ellie in until their lips hover centimeters away from each other.

Dina pauses and waits for Ellie’s response. At first, they simply stand there with their lips barely touching. Then she feels a sensation around her waist, which is Ellie placing her hands around her. She also feels herself stepping backwards and being pushed onto the bed.

Dina lands on her back. She grunts, not necessarily hurt, but surprised. Before she can process what’s happening, Ellie goes in to kiss her. Dina’s eyelids flutter shut as she leans her head upwards - into the kiss. Their lips lock, only intermittently parting to shakily inhale or exhale certain breaths.

Dina starts to trail her other hand to the back of Ellie’s neck. As she does so, she notices Ellie slowly crawl onto the bed, placing one of her knees in-between Dina’s legs. Dina lets out a low, almost inaudible whimper as she does so. Her heart beats rapidly when she feels the weight of Ellie hovering over her.

“Fuck,” Dina shakily says in-between their kisses. She pulls away to look at Ellie and notices she’s looking straight down at her. Her lips are wet and rosy red from their passionate makeout session. “Please don’t be lying to me,” Dina pleads.

Ellie lowers her lips to place a kiss on Dina’s forehead. She then places her elbow down on the bed and leans on her side. Her face tilts down until her lips are near Dina’s ear. She whispers, “I would never, babe.”

Dina places her hands onto Ellie’s cheeks and pulls her back into a kiss. This time, both their lips are parted and Ellie slides her tongue into Dina’s mouth. Dina feels a wave of ecstasy run through her the moment their tongues make contact. They passionately press and writhe against the other’s in a playful fight for dominance.

Ellie crawls further and further onto the bed until they’re both on it. Dina on the bottom and Ellie on the top of her. The two continue to kiss until Ellie pulls her lips away. Dina, dejected by the break of contact, attempts to pull her up to continue the kiss until she shakily lets go of Ellie altogether. Ellie, who slid down lower against Dina’s body, starts to press her lips against the surface of Dina’s neck.

Dina lets out a gasp as she feels her wrists being pinned down by Ellie’s hands. She frailly tries to break her grip but then feels herself give into the pleasure the other girl was giving her. “Oh, god,” Dina weakly says. Ellie begins to suck on Dina’s skin, leaving light red marks on it. She trails lower and lower until she reaches Dina’s collarbone.

Dina feels herself becoming incredibly more and more turned on. The way Ellie guides her hands across Dina, shifts her weight to overpower her, and presses her lips in an effort to elicit pleasure from her makes her feel more and more horny. Her gasps begin to turn into low moans that increasingly become louder until a knock is heard at the door.

“Dina!” Leonard’s voice yells through the door. “Get the fuck out here! That girl’s dad is looking for her.”

The two immediately break apart. Dina sits up. Ellie jumps up from the bed and frantically unlocks and opens the door. She passes by Leonard and bolts down the stairs.

Dina, still flustered, gets up to meet Leonard at the doorway. 

Her friend raises both his eyebrows and then glares at her. He then looks into the room and groans. “Shit… you guys really had to do it in _my_ room?”

Dina blushes. “What are you talking about?”

Leonard points to the red marks on Dina’s skin. “Plus, I could hear you guys from out here,” he says teasingly at Dina.

Dina claps her hand against her neck in embarrassment. She turns away from Leonard and then runs downstairs. When she arrives, she sees the rest of her friend group awkwardly sitting on the coaches away from Ellie and Joel.

“Fuck, Joel. Did you really have to come here?” Ellie yells.

Joel grabs her wrist and drags her towards the front door. He marches away. Ellie initially resists but then lets herself be pulled outside.

Dina breaks into a sprint to follow them. She opens the door and then screams “Wait!” Ellie, looking back at her, doesn’t stop as Joel and her make their way to his car.

Dina steps out of the house in panic. She catches up to Joel and tugs at his shirt sleeve, to which Joel quickly turns. Dina’s grip is broken, and she looks up to see the man giving her a deathly glare. If looks could kill, then Dina would have dropped dead at that second.

“I never want to see you near her again,” Joel says. 

Dina, only recently recovered from the crying session earlier, is again at the brink of tears. She looks at Joel and then past him to Ellie. Ellie catches her eye then looks away with a devastated expression of her own.

“You don’t understand,” Dina pleads. “You don’t understand how much she means to me.”

Joel says nothing. He continues to glare at Dina and then turns around to lead Ellie into the car. As they’re about to drive away, Dina yells once more.

“I can help protect her, too!” 

Joel halts and rolls down the driver side windows. He sticks his head out and scornfully looks at the girl. Dina realizes now how absurd this statement is. The scent of weed clings to her shirt, and the red marks against her neck are shining in the outside light. Her mere presence was probably insulting to Joel.

“I hope to god I never see you again,” Joel says, disdain and anger heavy in his voice. The words cut Dina like knives. She inhales deeply as she realizes she’s hardly been breathing.

Joel rolls the window up and starts the car engine. Before they drive off, she can see Ellie gloomily staring down at her lap. Dina wishes she could transport both of them to another world to continue where they left off. The fact that they were being separated tugs heavily at her heart. She feels like the ground beneath is crumbling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Okay, I will have to take longer breaks in-between chapter posts since school is coming up for me. ;-; Thank you for your patience. I hope you have a wonderful day ❤️ )


	6. meta-chapter (asking what YOU guys want from this series)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys. I see a lot of you have voiced your critiques about my last chapter, which I am always prepared for since I understand I am not a perfect writer. I read them and realize I //have// made several mistakes and would like to try and resolve them. To do that, I'm going to post a few questions that you guys can answer in the comments (since I read every one of them). This is NOT a chapter that details more of the story. It's a chapter about the last chapter and also about the series overall. I will start writing the next story chapter once I've read enough suggestions or thought more about the story.

I wrote a bit about my initial goals for the plot and my reasoning for them, but I realize that isn't necessarily relevant considering I may retcon some of them. The title "Runaways" suggest Ellie and Dina run away together, which would have happened after Joel took Ellie back to Tommy's house (an event after chapter 5) and forbid her from seeing Dina. Ellie would have became frustrated and tried to run away, inviting Dina with her. In an attempt to have this "running away" incident happen, I reduced Joel's character to a plot device to just introduce conflict.

My initial reason for Joel being so hostile (and I now realize is too much and uncharacteristic) and him and Ellie moving so quickly from town to town is convoluted, and would be too long to explain and just distracting from the romance story I want to tell. (If you want to know what it was, I may post it as a note on this chapter, a note on another chapter's, or just as a comment.) Therefore, I will be revising the plot. Before I do so, here are some questions:

1\. What do YOU want this story to focus on? Are there parts in the story that you want more fleshed out? Are there parts in the story that you think are superfluous and should be omitted in the future?

2\. What critiques do you have about the characters? Are there any side characters you want to see more of? Are there any side characters you think are distracting and take too much text of the story?

3\. Are you fine with chapter 5 being retconned and the series title being revised?

4\. Do you have any final suggestions for me?

Please know, I don't mind if my chapters are divisive. I will post controversial things if I feel like they enhance the overall story and will be fine if it results in backlash. I posted this, not because I feel offended, but because I agree with you guys about your critiques and want to revise my story to be consistent to each character in TLOU series. I love TLOU1 and TLOU2. I _want_ to represent Joel well.

Thanks for reading, and I am looking forward to reading your very insightful comments.


	7. Rendezvous at Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie begins to feel overwhelmed by Joel's well-intention but over the top protection. In an attempt to establish her own agency, she makes a decision for herself to be happy and independent.

Ellie immediately stormed into her room the moment her and Joel arrived at Tommy’s. The enmity felt in the car permeated into the log cabin, causing Tommy to curiously walk outside and meet Joel.

“The kid seems upset,” Tommy says. He leans against the porch railing and looks Joel up and down.

Joel, folding his arms crossed, evades Tommy’s glances and walks into the house.

—-

Ellie shuts her bedroom door and begins rummaging through her clothes. She folds a week’s worth of outfits into her backpack. Once she’s done, she walks around the room picking up several items, including a glock pistol near her drawer. She takes out the magazine and analyzes it. The 9mm bullets inside it shine from the moonlight penetrating through the blinds of her window. Ellie gauges she has 3-4 rounds. Ellie places the handgun into a range bag that she places at the bottom of her bag.

The LED clock at her bedside shows that it’s past midnight. The girl sighs as she puts on her backpack and walks out of her bedroom into the hallway. She creeps downstairs and sighs in relief at the realization that the lights are off and nobody's appears to be in the living room. She turns into a hallway but abruptly stops when she sees a silhouette on the other end.

“Shit,” Ellie says underneath her breath. She gulps as the person flips a light switch, causing the hallway to be lit up by a lurid white color. Ellie blinks and then readjusts her eyes’ focus, which results in her discerning the figure in front of her to be Joel.

Instead of the typical stern expression her guardian has on his face, Joel’s eyes are filled with sadness and betrayal. Ellie can feel it almost as potently as he does just from staring into his eyes.

“Ellie…” Joel poignantly says in his gruff voice. “Let’s head upstairs.”

Ellie sways forward and almost makes her way towards him but then wills herself to stop. She stands straight, looking at Joel with an angry expression “No,” the girl says.

Joel takes a step closer, to which Ellie jumps back and distances herself. It felt agonizing to do this - especially since part of her wanted to go into her guardian’s arms. However, she knew what would happen if she obeyed Joel. They’d continue their cumbersome routine of moving town to town, with Ellie only experiencing the tease of a normal teenage life. She’d meet new people and try to develop relationships with some, but then they’d be abandoned once they moved onto the next city. The prospect of moving away from Jackson - from Dina - was too devastating. Ellie believed (however naive the notion may be) that Dina was someone she’d only meet once in a lifetime.

“You fucking get any closer, and you will never see me again.” Ellie cries out. “I will find any way to get away from you, Joel. I’ll run again. I’ll do absolutely anything to get away.”

Joel stops walking. He’s an arm span away from Ellie. He could easily overpower her and force her to go upstairs. Even with Ellie resisting, he’s confident that he could subdue her and drive her to another town - another place far away from where they are now. He was confident he knew what was the best for her, but the way that Ellie desperately cried out made him doubt this confidence for the first time.

“Please let me go, Joel,” Ellie says, pleading to him. “I _need_ to see her.”

Joel pauses for a moment. He sighs then leans against the wall, seemingly giving Ellie enough space to squeeze past him. Taking the opportunity, Ellie steps forward to pass but then feels the fabric of her jacket being tugged. She looks around and sees Joel trying to grab her, but she then breaks free by sprinting forward quickly.

“Ellie!” Joel yells, running after her. Ellie frantically unlocks the front door and dashes towards the front yard. All around the cabin were trees except in the direction of the slim dirt road that trailed towards their house. Ellie ran into the forest, keeping the dirt road in her periphery. When she occasionally looked back, she saw the swaying light of a lantern shine through the gaps between trees. While unnerving, it never becomes close enough to intimidate her into stopping. She keeps moving forward.

\---

Dina nervously stands outside her house. It’s 2:00 am, and the scene is incredibly dark except for distant lamp posts down her long driveway. She fidgets with her phone in her hand, occasionally looking down to see if she’s received a message. Ellie texted her that night, asking if there was any way she could pick her up. Without a car, Dina anxiously messaged several of her friends if they were awake. Only one was - Jesse.

The girl anxiously breathes in and out, waiting for a car to pull up onto her driveway. Whether it be the memory of their friendship or compensation for the many study lessons Dina has given him, Jesse promises to pick Ellie up from a general goods store at the edge of town. However, Dina begins to doubt this promise after half an hour passes. She sighs, contemplates entering back into the house, but pauses when she hears the low rumble of a car’s engine grow louder and louder. A pair of headlights appear, and worn down SUV turns down the main road. The car strolls down her driveway and stops in front of her. The driver’s side window rolls down, and Jesse sticks head and arm out.

“Chilly night - isn’t it?” Jesse asks, staring intently at Dina. 

Dina looks past him to see a napping Ellie in his backseat. She sighs in relief and places the palm of her hand on Jesse’s arm. “Thank you… so much,” Dina says..

Jesse looks away, mumbling “no problem” underneath his breath. He unlocks the car, and Dina opens the passenger’s side door. Ellie is sitting beside her backpack, tightly hugging her legs underneath an oversized hoodie and tucking her chin underneath the collar. She awakens when she hears Dina murmur her name. Her eyelids droop as she drowsily looks up at her friend. The moment their eyes lock, Ellie breaks off into a coquettish grin.

“Hey,” Dina softly says as she cups Ellie’s cheeks with her hands, to which her friend responds by whispering a sleepy “hey”. Dina keenly looks into Ellie’s eyes before snapping away when she notices Jesse glancing at them through the rear view window. She hastily unbuckles her friend’s seat-belt and steps back.

“Thank you again,” she says as she pulls Ellie and her bag out of the car. She closes the door and looks at Jesse, who gives a forced smile. The feeling of guilt weighs heavier and heavier in Dina’s stomach as she looks at him.

“Anytime,” Jesse raspily says. He briefly looks at Dina for one last time before driving off.

Dina and Ellie stand there for a few silent minutes in the yard. The flowers in the garden Ellie once complimented on is now composed of more wilting flowers than blooming ones. During the days that Dina is too preoccupied to come home, such as the days she goes to school and sleeps over at her friend’s house, her uncle is too busy (or too forgetful) to water them, and the negligence shows.

Ellie crosses her arms and exhales a cloud of vapor. She rubs her hands against her arms. As summer turned into fall, the days became colder. The coldness of the season was especially evident during the nights. 

“Let’s go inside,” Dina says. She nods her head in the direction of the house’s entrance. Ellie follows her into the door. When they both step into the house, Dina goes to close and lock the door behind them. The living room is dark with only the lighting sources being the digital thermostat. Ellie shuffles her feet forward and nearly falls because of several invisible obstacles in her path. Dina catches her before she does so.

“You’ll have to forgive the shitty state this house is in,” Dina says. She fumbles in the dark for Ellie’s hand and intertwines their fingers together. Ellie squeezes it in reassurance.

Dina guides her through the living room and into her bedroom. She sets Ellie’s bag down and turns on a lamp at her bedside. It illuminates the room in a warm, yellow light. Her desk, neatly organized with typical stationary items students have, has a rolling office chair tucked partly inside it. Dina pulls the chair out and offers Ellie a seat, to which the girl takes.

Dina sits at the edge of her bedside. Her hair is down. She tried her best to comb through it earlier and make herself as presentable as she could, but by the time she was done washing her face and putting on a shirt, Jesse already texted her that he was on his way. She felt disheveled and slightly vulnerable appearing like this in front of Ellie. However, this anxiety began to fade away as Ellie looked at her warmly. Her eyes were especially enticing in this light. Her pupils are dilated, and she looks adorable and doe-like. 

“Want to pull the seat in front of me?” Dina asks. 

Ellie rolls the chair across the wooden floors of Dina’s bedroom until they’re less than a foot apart. She tilts her head away and avoids Dina’s eyes. Her eyebrows are low, and her lip is curled into a frown. Her facial expression is one of stress and anxiety. Dina would typically break the silence off by starting a conversation, but she intuits Ellie has something to say.

“I know I embarrassed you in front of everyone earlier,” Ellie eventually says with grief in her voice.

“I’m not embarrassed at all… ” Dina replies. 

Ellie gives her a suspicious look before shuffling in her hoodie’s pocket for something. She takes out an envelope and puts in Dina’s lap. Dina, confused, opens it and finds a card. A giggle escapes her lips as she sees the card is a cheesy couple’s anniversary card with a pair of lima beans drawn on the front. The phrase “I have bean thinking of you” is written underneath them.

“I found it at the store Jesse picked me up in. That was really kind of him to do that,” Ellie says. 

Dina looks up at Ellie and wipes the hair that is starting to fall over her eyes. She thinks about Jesse, getting into his car at a late hour in the night, just to pick up a friend of a girl that doesn’t even give him the slightest attention. Her eyelids shut, and she exhales as she feels incredibly sad about the situation.

“You’re so silly,” Dina says quietly, diverting her attention to Ellie. She places the card against her breast and hugs it. “This is really adorable, though. I think my heart is melting in my chest.”

Ellie cheekily smiles and leans against the office chair, her hands in her hoodie’s pocket. She looks over at Dina’s drawings and posters, framed and hanged on the wall. Dina blushes as she follows Ellie’s eyes trailing around her room and eventually roaming back to her. Ellie's eyelids droop, and she attempts to yawn discreetly by facing her head towards her shoulder.

“Let’s head to sleep,” Dina says.

“Sure,” Ellie says, not moving from the chair.

Dina anticipates Ellie will make her way next to her but then gives up after waiting for a few minutes. She raises an eyebrow then stretches her arms. One of them lands on her bed. While giving Ellie a perplexed look, she pats on her covers and says, “I mean on here."

Ellie continues looking at Dina then spontaneously sinks into the chair. Tucking her head back into her collar, she says, “I can sleep on the floor, y’know.”

Dina rolls her eyes and gets up from the bed. She offers Ellie her hand, to which her friend takes. She then twists her around and playfully pushes her. Ellie falls on the bed then sits at its edge. Before she can say a word, Dina is already kneeling down and untying her shoes. Ellie groans and asks for her to undress herself. Dina hushes her.

After taking off Ellie’s shoes, Dina stands up to see Ellie’s eyes are closed and that she’s leaning slightly from side to side. Dina quickly grabs her shoulders, steadying her. She then lays her upper body down on the bed and manages to do the same for her legs. Smirking, Dina quietly says “see” and places her covers over Ellie. After heading to the other side, she tucks herself in.

The queen sized mattress is large enough for two of them, but only barely. Dina lays near the edge of her bed in order to not take up to much space. However, this arrangement doesn’t last long. As the night passes, Ellie and Dina move closer and closer towards the middle of the bed. They eventually face each other. Ellie appears asleep, and Dina attempts to follow suit but impetuously steals a glance at Ellie every now and then. Looking at her felt just as novel and rewarding as when they first met.

Dina begins to feel for Ellie’s hand underneath the covers. She makes out Ellie’s fingers and intertwines it with her own. The comfort of Ellie's touch pulls Dina closer and closer to sleep. Just before the girl withdraws into unconsciousness, she feels Ellie softly squeeze her hand goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Ellie gets her love for puns from Joel.)


	8. A Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ellie and Dina decide where and what to do for their fall break. They head to their destination and exchange a few lighthearted and teasing jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Retcon: Ellie does NOT bring her pistol in the bag with her. I don't want to add that sort of action because it's probably just distracting for this story.)

Dina awakes to the sound of an engine rumbling. Her eyes open. She sees Ellie and notices that either she's shaking or the bus they're on is. Dina reasons the latter. The way the vehicle violently slides from side to side on the interstate then jingles up and down elicits nausea inside her. She now remembers why she chose to nap earlier yet isn't able to fall asleep anymore. Therefore, she sneaks her hand from underneath the blanket over lap to feel for Ellie's hand. When she finds it, she interlocks both their fingers.

The red-headed girl mumbles something in her sleep then unconsciously turns her head towards Dina. Her eyes are closed. Dina finds that she looks so peaceful this way. The green plains they rapidly pass through add to the idyllic scene.

Earlier this morning, they woke up in Dina's uncle's house to the smell of alcohol and cigarette ash coming from the living room. Dina's uncle was passed out on a couch. Inside Dina's room, the two girls were laying beside each other, holding hands. The following week was their fall break, so when Ellie asked Dina what she wanted to do, she immediately said absolutely anything as long as it's outside of Jackson. _This city is tainted by monotony and deadbeats_ , she thinks to herself as she goes out and shuffles through the trashed living room. She walked out the house with Ellie, locking the front entrance behind her. A week's worth of clothing and other amenities are inside her backpack.

There's an adjacent city a few miles North. Near it is a national park that Dina has only heard of but Ellie's been wanting to go to. After a few more hours of vomit inducing twists and turns inside the badly driven bus, the two make it to the destination.

"Ellie," Dina says, whispering into the other girl's ear.

Ellie opens her eyes and greets Dina with a warm smile. The other travelers inside the bus start to pack up their things, so the girls follow suit. Dina grunts, trying to pull her backpack from the compartment overhead. Ellie grabs it, carries it for her, and walks out.

"Okay, goober." Dina says.

Ellie glances back at her as they walk outside the bus. Once they reach the sidewalk, Ellie hands Dina her bag. "You're welcome?" she says hesitantly.

"It's a term of endearment," Dina says.

Ellie snorts and wrinkles her nose. "Sounds like you just like me," she says cockily as she walks off.

Dina stands there, rooted at the spot, taking a moment to realize that Ellie is teasing her. She feels blood rush to her cheeks then runs off in a chase after the girl. "Gross," Dina replies once she's in earshot. "I would never," she adds sarcastically.

Ellie looks at her through the side of her eye, smiling so widely that the dimples in her cheeks cast small shadows across her face. "Whatever you say," she says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( if you guys are disappointed by the length of this chapter, then I understand. I guess I reasoned it would be better to post something rather than nothing to show that I'm not dead and YES I will finish this series. it's just the entire covid thing is basically causing me and my classmates to speedrun through this school semester ; therefore, there's little room to rest. in case you guys want to talk with me directly (whether it be critique, story thoughts, whatever), then my tumblr is @squishysquid2020. I love all the feedback given, especially when people say it’s their first comment on any fanfic. thank you for your input. if u msg me on tumblr, then I can directly thank you! )


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